Second Chance
by yure-chan
Summary: Sometimes, we never know how much someone truly means to us until they are gone from our lives. And even if we get a chance to make amends, can it really make a difference? A KakaIru fic.
1. Chapter 1: Living The Lie

**A/N: Well, I was inspired by Chapter 449 to write this. Hope you will enjoy it! ^_^**

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own them. Naruto and all its characters are property rights of Kishimoto-sensei.**

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Chapter 1: Living the Lie

The smell of sex hung thick in the bedroom air. Iruka remained lying on his bed, pretending to sleep even as he listened to the quiet shuffling in the room as his lover got himself ready to leave.

It was always the same. The man would come over to his apartment after midnight almost every night and stayed till the next morning, leaving before the sun rose. Sometimes, it was wild, hot sex, other times, they would just cuddle and sleep.

Just like a couple in love.

Except they are not. Not really.

How long this has been going on, Iruka wasn't sure. But it had definitely been more than half a year and the chunin was beginning to wonder where this was going to take them. They behaved like lovers under the cover of the night sky, but when daylight came, they merely greeted each other like friends.

Or perhaps only as acquaintances.

It hurts. Iruka knew he had allowed himself to fall in too deep. He had reminded himself so many times to not get drawn in. But throughout the course of this almost non-existent relationship, through those sweet, loving words the other had uttered and the deep confessions of love in the silence of the nights, Iruka had willingly given up the fight and given his heart to the other man.

It was a foolish move on his part, knowing that their relationship would never be brought out in the open; knowing that the same man who whispers loving promises to him in bed would never even give him a second glance when they meet on the streets. He had questioned himself so many times over, wondering if this was worth it, what he was getting himself into; but when his lover returned in the late evening, he would abandon all his reservations and surrender his heart, body and soul to the other.

It was agony and bliss at the same time. The other's presence was like an addiction; one that he knew was bad and could lead to his destruction, but couldn't find it in himself to break it.

The bed dipped under the additional weight that crawled onto the sheets and he felt warm lips pressing against his neck, as he kept his eyes closed. And like so many mornings before, a deep baritone whispered into his ears.

"I have to go, love."

Iruka did not respond, did not even stir. He felt the weight leave the bed and his window silently opening. Then, the presence was gone.

And it was then, like so many mornings before, Iruka allowed his tears to fall as he felt his heart breaking a little more.

=-=-=-=

"Iruka-sensei!"

The chunin startled at the call of his name and he turned his head, while trying to keep the pile of books and papers in his arms from toppling over. He smiled at the sight of his favorite blonde bounding towards him. Even at sixteen, Naruto still behaves like the kid he had known all those years. The teen stopped in front of the academy teacher, the broad grin never leaving his face.

"Iruka-sensei, I haven't been seeing you around. How have you been?"

"I'm good." Iruka shifted the books in his arms and gave the blonde a warm smile. "Been a little busy in the academy. What about you? What have you been busy with?"

"Training." Naruto yawned. "Kakashi-sensei is trying to kill me with that training regime."

"Now now, stop accusing me of that. You were the one who was so eager to start training that you camped out in the hospital while I was recuperating." Another voice cut into the conversation. "In the end, because of you, I was kicked out of the hospital by Tsunade-sama."

Iruka looked past the blonde's shoulder to regard the group walking up to them. He fought to keep the smile on his face as the group neared them.

"Yo." Kakashi's eye turned up in an arc as he greeted the academy teacher. Iruka bowed politely in return.

"Iruka-sensei." Sakura smiled at her former teacher, raising her hand in greeting. "It's good to see you. Naruto was still lamenting a while ago about how you've seemed to disappear recently."

"It's good to see you too, Sakura." Iruka smiled as he turned towards the girl, glad for the distraction. "I hope your training with Hokage-sama is going well."

"Oh yes, I'm sure of that. I think Naruto can testify to the fact that her punches are getting stronger lately." Sai nodded in acknowledgment. "She's one scary woman. Probably worse than Tsunade-sama herself."

Sakura's brow twitched. "What did you say?" Naruto swallowed hard when the kunoichi clenched her fists and advanced towards Sai with a menacing glare.

"Sa…. Sakura-chan, calm down." Naruto tried to pacify his infuriated friend to avoid her landing a punch on the pale boy. The three adults stood watching as the kunoichi attempted to pounce on her teammate.

"How do you ever deal with them, Iruka-sensei?"

The chunin turned at the voice and smiled politely at Yamato who was shaking his head in exasperation. He turned back to the scene where Sakura was now restraining Naruto, stopping him from plummeting Sai, who had undoubtedly, insulted the blonde again.

"Used to their antics, I guess. They aren't that hard to deal with once you know what works and what doesn't." Iruka smiled at the old memories of those teens when they had been in his class. It was amazing to see how they have grown.

"Ah, Iruka-sensei has always been good with his students. All of them loved him enough to obey what he says." Kakashi commented lightly. Iruka swallowed hard at the voice; the voice that whispers loving words and soothed his tears in the night, but spoke nothing more than polite greetings at other times.

"You flatter me, Kakashi-sensei." Iruka said, keeping his voice steady, but his eyes not meeting the other man's. "You are not doing too bad yourself. You've gotten the three of them to work together pretty well."

"On that, I can't claim credit." Kakashi smiled. "Yamato has spent a longer time with them than I had. He's the one who's managed to teach them well."

"You are too modest, senpai." Yamato grinned and watched the three teens standing a distance away, arguing about yet another random matter. "The three of them get along better with you more than they do me."

"Maa…. If you stop scaring them with your stern looks, they will probably loosen up to you more."

"Oh well, who's the one who taught me that look?" Yamato snorted. "Yours was worse than mine in those days."

"Long gone were those days. That look doesn't work anymore on this generation."

The two jounin laughed good-naturedly. Iruka turned away, feeling left out of the conversation. He felt a heavy feeling settle in the pit of his stomach as he listened to the two chat easily about everything and anything and came to the realization that this could never happen between him and Kakashi.

'_He looked more like a couple with Yamato more than he does with you.'_

Iruka squashed down that thought with what last self-preservation that he had. No, he couldn't think of it this way. After all, they were never a couple.

Bed-warmer, friends with benefits, a casual fling. Anything along that line, but never couple, lovers, and confidante. He should stop hoping for that, should know that it was something that would never happen.

His friends had known something was up with him, but had never been able to pinpoint on what was going on. Iruka refused to tell and Kakashi had covered his scent well. Whatever it was, the extent that the jounin had taken to cover all traces of himself around Iruka was enough to tell the chunin that this relationship would never be more than a midnight rendezvous.

The pain stemming from his heart threatened to overwhelm him. Seeking a form of distraction, he headed over to where Naruto was preparing to punch Sai. He halted the fist mid-air and tugged the blonde backwards.

"That's enough, Naruto." Iruka pulled his student away. "You are creating a scene here."

The blonde refused to relent. "But Iruka-sensei, he–"

"Maa… Naruto, didn't you say you want to go for ramen?" Kakashi strode up to the group with a smile, placing a hand on Naruto's shoulder, trying to placate him.

At the mention of his favourite food, Naruto's attention deviated from Sai and instead, he focused on the academy teacher with a wide smile. "That's right! Let's go for ramen, Iruka-sensei. My treat!"

Iruka hesitated and then he smiled weakly. "I guess not."

The blonde frowned. "Why not?"

Before Iruka could come up with an explanation, Kakashi spoke. "Join us, Iruka-sensei. It's rare that Naruto is buying us ramen. You won't get another chance like this."

Iruka felt his heart thumping against his chest as he shifted his gaze away from the older man. He smiled and ruffled the blonde's hair. "I would love to, Naruto. But I have a lot of work to do today. Looks like I will have to give this once-in-a-lifetime offer a miss."

"Eh?" Naruto frowned. "You can do your work later, Iruka-sensei. It won't take long and you do need your lunch."

"Naruto's right, Iruka-sensei." Sakura smiled. "You still need to eat. I don't have training with Tsunade-sama today. I can help you after lunch."

"Well Sakura, I– "

"Are you on your way to a date, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto eyed his teacher suspiciously.

The chunin blushed, but he felt his insides turned cold when he sensed a sudden spike of angry chakra from beside him. Swallowing hard, he turned to face Naruto with a smile on his face. "Of course not, what gave you that idea?"

"Because you never turn me down ever before when I ask you for ramen." Naruto sulked. "And I haven't seen you in so long, I thought it would be nice for us to get ramen together today."

"I…" Iruka trailed off, unable to find an excuse good enough to turn down that goodwill. But he couldn't stand just being there. It just hurts too much. He sighed deeply and smiled apologetically at the genin. "I'm sorry Naruto. I really don't think I will be able to join you today. I will buy you ramen next time to make it up."

Before anyone else could say a word, Iruka turned on his heels and walked away, unaware of the lone grey eye following after his retreating back.

=-=-=-=

The bed dipped under an additional weight and Iruka stirred awake. He did not shift from his position as the weight settled itself and wrapped a pair of arms around his waist.

"Naruto was pretty upset that you went off this afternoon. He was looking forward to having lunch with you."

Iruka turned his head and managed a smile on his face. "I was busy."

"With what?"

"The academy. They are having their mid-term tests coming up."

"But still, they had been right. You could have joined us for lunch first. After all, Sakura did volunteer to help. There shouldn't have been anything you won't be able to finish."

Iruka sat up slightly in bed. A silver brow rose as he settled against the bed board and sighed deeply.

"I can't, Kakashi." Iruka turned to look out of the window. "I can't stand being there pretending that we are not even acquainted."

The jounin's eye softened. He sat himself up beside the younger man and cradled him against his chest. "I'm sorry."

'_Are you really?'_

Iruka wondered when they had fell into a pattern like this: Kakashi would apologize for not being able to make their relationship public and Iruka would try to understand, even if he didn't quite really knew the underlying reasons. Then they would be comfortable for a while and when something arise that will bring out Iruka's insecurities, the routine would repeat itself again.

Iruka wondered how long this practice would last before he finally breaks.

"Don't be." He whispered, hating his own weakness at how easily he submit to the older man; how he never voiced out what he really wants. "I understand."

Kakashi sighed and pressed a kiss on the top of the brunette's head. "Give me a little more time."

'_How long? Months? Years? Never?'_

The chunin nodded quietly. He took in a deep breath and tried to focus on other matters that could take his mind away from the pain. "So, how's Naruto's training coming along?"

Kakashi smiled, albeit a little strained. He laced his fingers with the younger man and gave the tanned hand a soft squeeze. "Good. He's catching up pretty fast. I'm sure he will be able to master his element chakra soon.

"It's comforting to hear that."

"Yeah."

The two were silent for a while after that. Finally, the jounin spoke.

"Iruka."

"Hm?"

"Give me some more time. I promise I will make it right soon."

'_Liar.'_

Iruka closed his eyes and despite the pain in his heart, he nodded.

"Alright."

=-=-=-=

Kakashi stared at the pre-dawn sky in silence. He would need to leave soon if he wants to avoid running into anyone he might know, seeing him leave the chunin's apartment. Tilting his head, he stared at the man nestled against his chest, sleeping peacefully.

"I have to go, love." He whispered into the soft brown hair. Iruka nodded sleepily and turned onto his other side, freeing the jounin of his weight. Kakashi leaned over and pressed a soft kiss on the tanned cheek before slipping off the bed and dressed quietly.

He shrugged on his vest and turned his eye towards the younger man on the bed. It was unfair to Iruka, he knew. But he couldn't bring himself to acknowledge anything. At least not yet. He didn't know what was holding him back. Was it pride, fear, insecurity or responsibility? Probably all factors were involved. Whatever it was, he wasn't ready to be in an open relationship yet.

He slipped back into bed and ran his fingers through the long hair. Smiling, he pressed a final kiss on the tanned neck.

"I love you, Iruka."

He pulled on his gloves and replaced his mask. Opening the window, he slipped out gracefully and eventually disappeared into the still dark sky.

In the room he left behind, brown eyes stared blankly into the darkness, the silent tears rolling down the cheeks.

=-=-=-=

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	2. Chapter 2: Breaking the Heart

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter. ^_^ I'm glad you enjoyed the story. And well, here's the next! Cheers!**

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Chapter 2: Breaking the Heart

"Iruka."

The chunin glanced up from the mission report he was looking through. "Yes?"

Izumo frowned. "Are you alright?"

The academy teacher blinked confusedly. "Huh?"

"Are you alright?" Izumo leaned forward and studied his friend's face. "You look pale."

"I'm fine." Iruka smiled. "Just a little tired. Perhaps it's due to having to stay up late the last couple of days grading the students' assignments."

The long-haired chunin frowned. "I was thinking more along the line of you look like you could do with some chilling out." Shrugging, he straightened himself. "Do you want to join us for some drinks tonight?"

"Probably not." Iruka stacked the reports on his desk and placed it in a neat pile. "I'm looking forward to an early rest tonight."

"Iruka, lately you've been –"

"Izumo-san, Iruka-sensei!" A feminine voice disrupted their conversation. Both men turned to regard the speaker.

"Shizune-san." Iruka smiled at the dark-haired lady. "Orders from Hokage-sama?"

"Yes." The Hokage's assistant placed a scroll on the table. "Here is a mission for Raidou and Aoba. Please prepare the necessary paper work and issue it to them. Tsunade-sama had enough of them lounging in the waiting room doing nothing."

Izumo chuckled and took the scroll, scrutinizing it. "B-rank? Looks like Hokage-sama's really eager to get them out of her sight."

"There haven't been much high-ranked missions going around." Shizune sighed. "The council is beginning to complain that the Leaf's jounin are lazing around. Tsunade-sama has to get them to do something before the council starts breathing down her neck."

"We will send the jounin on their way." Iruka stood from his seat with a smile. "Come on, Izumo, we've got work to do."

"Right." The other chunin gave a toothy grin.

"Well, I will be off then. I will come by later with other orders." Shizune smiled. "Oh yes, Iruka-sensei, since you are going over to the waiting room, do help me see if Kurenai-sensei is there. If she is, tell her to see Tsunade-sama at four pm. She has something she needs to clarify regarding her team's last mission report."

"Sure." Iruka smiled and picked up some folders. "I will let her know if I see her."

"Great. I will see you two around then."

The two chunin bowed politely as the dark-haired assistant made her exit. Sighing, both men gathered up the necessary documents and headed for the waiting room.

=-=-=-=

The jounin sat around in the lounge by the mission room, boredom evident on some of the faces. Asuma chewed absently on his cigarette as he stared blankly at the ceiling. Anko and Genma flittered around the shinobi, trying to get their comrades to place money in their betting pool. Gai talked on about the beauty of youth in the middle of the room, not bothered with the fact that no one was actually listening. Yamato was chatting idly with some other jounin while Kakashi lounged by the window, reading his book for the hundredth time.

The lounge door slid open and two chunin stepped into the room, surveying the group. The jounin turned silent immediately and watched Iruka and Izumo eagerly as they waited for their names to be called for missions.

"Aoba-san, Raidou-san, Hokage-sama has a mission for the both of you." Iruka bowed politely to his superiors as they approached and returned his greeting. The two jounin followed them out and the door was closed behind them.

Genma raised an eyebrow the moment the door slid shut. "Say, you guys know that chunin right?"

"Which one?" A random jounin leaned forward in the couch, eyeing Genma curiously.

"Umino Iruka. There, the one who mans the mission desk, who works in the academy and he has this scar across his nose."

Anko eyed her friend lazily. "What about Iruka?"

"New betting pool, Anko." Genma grinned. "I'm betting that Iruka likes someone here."

"And who would that be?" Anko's eyes twinkled with interest.

Genma tilted his head to the side and glanced at the copy nin who was reading his book, not bothering about what was going on in the rest of the room.

"Kakashi? You are kidding!" Anko frowned.

Genma grinned. "I'm pretty sure. Have you seen how he always looked at Kakashi when he thought no one was looking?"

Anko snorted. "I'm willing to bet that Iruka has much better taste than that."

"Kakashi is a pretty much eligible bachelor, Anko. Girls are falling at his feet just trying to ask him out. He just doesn't respond to anyone of them." Genma grinned. "Though what surprises me more is that Umino actually falls for him. Does he honestly think he can win Kakashi's affection if the entire village's girls can't even get Kakashi to look twice at them? And not to mention that Kakashi is way beyond his rank."

"That's mean, Genma." Kurenai frowned. "Iruka-sensei may be a chunin, but he is a respectable shinobi. Moreover, he is well-loved in this village."

Genma shrugged. "I'm just stating facts. I mean, look around. When have you ever seen a lasting relationship between a jounin and a chunin? They are just too different in their thinking, actions and the group they hang out with. And jounin are by nature, fickle. I would bet Kakashi has tons of bed partners that we never know about. And really, Iruka is a little too plain for our copy nin's taste. I don't think it's any secret that as long as Kakashi opens his mouth to ask, he would have hoards of good-looking men and women to choose from. Why would he want to commit himself into a relationship with Iruka?

Murmurs of agreements were heard. Anko's eyes narrowed. "Genma, I dare you to repeat that again."

"Anko, you can't deny that fact." One of the other jounin mused. The serpent user shot a glare that immediately shut the man up.

"Genma, you may be right on the part that there's too much difference between a jounin and a chunin. But, do you have to put down Iruka-sensei like this?" Kurenai frowned. "I do think he does have his own charisma."

"Kurenai's right. And don't put all jounin in the same category as you, Genma. Not everyone is fickle-minded." Asuma snorted. "And besides, I don't get why you guys are arguing over there when Kakashi is right here and you can simply ask him what his views are to this issue."

Anko scowled and Genma smirked. The honey-haired jounin strode over to where his friend was seated comfortably and clapped a hand down on Kakashi's shoulder, ignoring the glare thrown his way as he sat down in the couch.

"Say Kakashi, what do you think about what we have just said? Who do you agree with?"

The silver-haired jounin turned back to his book. "I wasn't paying attention to your nonsense."

"Well then, tell me what do you think about going into a relationship with Iruka-sensei?"

Kakashi flipped a page in his book. "And what has that got to do with you?"

"Everything." Genma smirked. "Because, it's plaintively obvious that Iruka is interested in you, but you never spared that poor guy a second glance. So if you would do a kind deed, make yourself clear now so that his friends over there can start hinting to him to give up on you." The jounin gestured in the general direction where Anko and Kurenai were sitting.

The copy nin's eye narrowed. "Genma, Iruka-sensei is a colleague. I would prefer if you guys stop making such malicious comments behind his back. If you have so much time on hand, why don't you make yourself useful and find something to do? I'm sure the village could do with some of your help."

Genma grinned. "So, you do only think of Iruka-sensei as a colleague and nothing more?"

The silver brows knitted together and the tone held a hint of warning behind it. "Genma."

"Fine." Genma raised his hands to placate the man. "I just wanted to make sure that you don't hurt another innocent person who doesn't know about your preferences."

"There's no one to hurt here, Genma."

"There is, Kakashi. If you don't make yourself clear, you are going to hurt Iruka next." Genma's expression turned serious, not even bothering about the curious looks that the others were shooting their way. "Spare him the agony. If you are not interested, don't lead him on. No one can keep up with your games."

"First of all, Genma, I don't play games." Kakashi glared. "Secondly, I never did lead him on in anything. Thirdly, I repeat myself. Iruka-sensei is a colleague. And he is one that I respect. That's all, nothing more, nothing less. I don't see myself in a relationship. Not with him, not with anyone else. Whatever happens in the future, I don't want to speculate and neither do I have the time to do that."

Everyone was silent as the copy nin stood from his seat and made his way to the exit. No one commented on what was being said but they knew that was as good as a blatant rejection. Their eyes followed Genma as he strode over to Anko with a shrug and a _'ask him to give it up'_ muttered under his breath.

Asuma stood from his seat as Kakashi made his way towards the door. He casted a glance at the group and sighed. "Well, I guess from Kakashi's choice of books, we do know which gender he prefers anyway."

=-=-=-=

The tanned hand slipped from its grasp on the door's handle. Iruka stood outside the waiting room, unable to react to what he had just heard. All he could feel was the pain in his chest that was increasing at a rapid rate and it was threatening to engulf his entire being.

He hadn't meant to listen in on the conversation that had been going on in the group of jounin, but he had forgotten to leave the message for Kurenai and was just heading back when he had heard what was being said.

He felt his heart clenched so tightly that it was hard to breathe. Whatever Genma, Asuma or the other jounin had said hadn't hurt as much as Kakashi's denial. He was just a colleague in the eyes of the copy nin. Then, what did all those late night meetings mean? What about all those promises and loving words that the older man had said? Was it all part of the act to keep him in this lie that Kakashi had so skillfully wove?

He didn't know if he should hate Genma or thank the man. Kakashi had never openly denied their involvements before and that was probably because no one had ever openly confronted the copy nin about what his thoughts were to be in a relationship with Iruka. But today, because of Genma and his candid ways, Iruka finally got a glimpse of where he stood; finally had the realization dawned on him that whatever had been said had all been lies; that there would never be a _'us' _with him and Kakashi and that the jounin never had the intention to go into a deeper relationship with him.

Tears threatened. Iruka felt numb with the entire situation. He should have known what he was to the jounin all along; should have known that the great copy nin would never set his eyes on him; a plain, simple chunin. The fact that Kakashi would never acknowledge their relationship in public was already telling enough and yet, he had allowed himself to foolishly believe those promises that the older man had made, believed that one day, those _'give me some time', 'I will make it right' _and _'I promise I will make this official soon'_ would come true.

He heard shuffling from the other side of the door, but his mind was whirling with so much thoughts that he could barely bring himself to react or step away from the place.

=-=-=-=

Kurenai sighed and stood from her seat when Asuma signaled for her to follow. The three jounin made their way towards the door and Kakashi reached out to slide the door open.

He froze the moment the door opened, revealing the person on the other side.

"Iruka……"

Asuma smacked a hand over his forehead and sighed. Kurenai let out a gasp and swallowed hard, wondering how much the younger man had heard.

The chunin raised his head to look at the three stunned jounin before him. In the room, everyone had turned silent when his name was mentioned. Iruka took a minute to collect himself as he took in a deep breath and managed a smile. He turned towards Kurenai and totally avoided eye contact with Kakashi, knowing that there was no way he could look at the older man now and hold back his emotions at the same time. "Kurenai-sensei, I have a message for you from Hokage-sama."

The kunoichi nodded hesitantly. "Ye…. Yes?"

"Hokage-sama would like to see you later at four pm to review your last mission report." Iruka spoke on auto-pilot, as he tried to stem the pain in his heart. "There are some areas she requires clarifications in."

"Right." Kurenai smiled nervously. "Iruka-sensei, don't mind them, you know –"

"If there's nothing else, Kurenai-sensei," Iruka cut in softly. "Please excuse me. I still have plenty of work to do."

Asuma and Kurenai watched, stunned as the chunin turned and walked away. Kakashi felt a sense of guilt rising up in him. Iruka, on the other hand, couldn't be bothered anymore about manners or the feelings of others, because really, how much can he afford to care when his entire world was crumbling down?

=-=-=-=

Kakashi did not turn up that night. Iruka couldn't bring himself to care. What had he expect? That the copy nin would apologize? Would reassure him? It doesn't matter because everything would still turn out to be a lie. Everything Kakashi had said; every single promise, every loving word and gesture had all been a deceit to lure him into the copy nin's game.

The tears rolled quietly down his face. He had enough. Enough of crying, enough of feeling hurt. But yet, he couldn't stop. Fallen in too deep and he couldn't pull himself out of it in time to avoid the heartbreak. He couldn't even blame anyone for his predicament, because he had been the one to willingly be drawn into the jounin's lie.

_'What am I to you, Kakashi? What are we?'_

He didn't even want to think about that because he knew, he had the answer long ago. He just hadn't wanted to accept it because he had held the hope that Kakashi truly loved him. But he knew better now than to keep believing it.

Perhaps it's time to put a stop to this farce. He knew he couldn't keep up with this anymore. It had been more than half a year since they first started this association. If there had been any hope that it would evolve into something more, it would have happened already.

_'It hurts. So badly. Did you really have to lie to me like this?'_

The silent tears did not stop, but the chunin had reached a decision he knew he should have made long ago. Though at that moment, it tore him up more than anything else. The sobs choked him as his tears fell onto the pillow, forming a wet patch on the soft cloth.

And on the roof across from the apartment, Kakashi stood, watching through the window and trying to ignore the surging pain in his chest as the pair of mismatched eyes watched Iruka cry himself to sleep; knowing that there is nothing he can do to alleviate the chunin's pain.

=-=-=-=

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	3. Chapter 3: Ending the Hurt

**A/N: Well, thanks everyone, for reviewing. I know all of us would love to give Iruka a hug. So yeah, you would probably want to hug / cuddle / coodle him after his chapter. Anyway, do enjoy.**

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Chapter 3: Ending the Hurt

The mission room was silent as its workers worked diligently; accepting reports, checking them over, approving them and filing them.

Iruka bent over his desk, frowning at the messy state of the scroll that the jounin before him had submitted. He glanced up at the nervous man with a hint of dissatisfaction before finally shaking his head and stamped the approval on it.

"Thank you for your hard work."

The jounin heaved a sigh of relief and mumbled a quick 'thanks' before hurrying off and allowing the next person to submit the report.

A shadow fell across the desk. Iruka did not look up as he scribbled notes on the mission report. He held out his hand, waiting for the scroll to be placed on his palm as he focused on the work before him.

When nothing came after a while, the chunin looked up to see who it was standing before him. His smile almost faltered as he stared at the jounin.

"Iruka-san."

Iruka took in a deep breath and managed to keep the smile in place as he returned the greeting.

"Genma-san. Do you have a report to submit?"

The honey-haired man scratched the side of his head before he reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a scroll. He set it down before the tanned chunin and watched nervously as Iruka took it and began his task of reading through the contents.

"Uh, Iruka," Genma swallowed hard as he rolled his senbon between his tongue and leaned forward slightly. "I would like to apologize."

The chunin felt himself stiffening. But he kept his calm as he took his pen and scribbled something in the report. "About?"

"What I said in the waiting room last week." Genma muttered. "I'm sorry. I'm not implying that you can't match up to Kakashi because of ranks. I'm just –"

Iruka sighed. "It's fine."

"Eh?" Genma blinked. "Um, no, Iruka, I'm really sorry. I mean –"

"I said it's fine, Genma-san." Iruka stamped the approval and tossed the scroll aside. He glanced up at the jounin. Genma did look apologetic, but Iruka wasn't ready to deal with anyone now. He felt his smile slipping more by the minute and knew that if the older man were to probe any further into the issue, he would break down there and then. "I don't mind."

'_Do you really not?'_

Iruka stamped down on the voice that was taunting him and rubbed his face tiredly. "But I would prefer if you leave me out of your conversations next time." He swallowed hard and his next sentence barely came out above a whisper. "After all, I don't want anyone to misunderstand that there's anything going on between Kakashi-sensei and me. It's not going to do any good to his reputation…"

Genma felt the guilt slapping him in the face. He sighed. "Iruka, I really don't –"

"Or mine for that matters." Iruka smiled. "It's really damaging to my reputation as a teacher too to be involved in such a gossip."

Genma watched the chunin quietly. After a while, he finally nodded. "Yeah, I guess you are right."

"Well, if there's nothing else, Genma-san, perhaps you could let me get on with my work."

The jounin eyed Iruka uncertainly. Then he nodded and turned to go. "Have a good day, Iruka."

The moment Genma stepped away, Iruka's smile fell. He felt drained, mentally and emotionally. He had thought burying himself in work would bring his thoughts away from his pain. But then, he hadn't anticipated on Genma approaching him and digging up old wounds. He couldn't blame the man anyway. After all, the jounin only had the intention to apologize.

He casted a glance at the clock in the room. Another half an hour before his shift ends. Perhaps after that, he could go back to the academy and grade that pile of essays that his students had submitted that day. It could serve as another form of distraction for him and delay his return to his apartment where he would undoubtedly, start thinking about things all over again.

Sighing, he glanced up to accept the next mission report. But he froze when his eyes came in contact with an intense single grey; its owner leaning against the wall at the far end.

It took all of his willpower to break away from the gaze and it took out another fair amount of his energy to keep those tears from falling. He was almost grateful when Izumo came up to him, regarding him with worry in his eyes.

"You don't look good, Iruka."

"I… I'm fine." The chunin licked his dry lips, feeling that eye boring into him.

"No, you are not." Izumo said quietly. He picked up Iruka's bag from the floor and shoved it onto the teacher's lap. "Go back and rest. I will take it from here."

Iruka stared at his messenger bag dumbly. Izumo gave him a light push to get him out of his seat. "Go ahead, Iruka. You need that rest." The long-haired chunin watched his friend for a moment before adding. "I will drop by later with dinner and we will talk."

Iruka wanted to protest, wanted to reassure his friend. But nothing came out from his constricted throat. With nothing to say, he turned away and started putting his things into the bag before standing up.

"Thank you, Izumo."

The long-haired chunin nodded and watched as his friend trudged out of the mission room. He turned his head towards the direction where Iruka had been staring blankly into before he disrupted, but there was nothing, except an uninteresting plain, white wall.

=-=-=-=

Izumo watched his friend silently as he shoved a piece of chicken into his mouth. Iruka on the other hand, wasn't even eating. Instead, he was pushing his food around in his plate and staring blankly into nothingness.

The long-haired chunin sighed and set down his chopsticks. Then he reached over and pulled the chopsticks out of Iruka's hand. That single act finally caught the brunette's attention and he glanced up at his companion.

"What, Izumo?"

"That's what I wanted to ask." The other chunin glared.

The tanned chunin stared at his friend for a moment and shrugged. "I'm eating my dinner."

"Seems more like you were playing with your food." Izumo frowned. Then his eyes softened. "And you look like you have a lot on your mind."

Iruka forced a smile to his face as he looked into his friend's eyes. "It's nothing. I'm just tired."

"I've known you for far too long, Iruka." Izumo set the chopsticks down beside Iruka's plate. "You are more than tired. Something is up, but you are not telling me."

The man turned his head and stared out of the window. "I'm fine."

"You are breaking up." Izumo said quietly. He reached over and placed a hand over his friend's. "Iruka, whatever it is that is tearing you up so badly, you've got to talk to someone about it. If you continue on like this, I fear for your sanity."

"It's really nothing, Izumo." Iruka smiled. "I guess work is just piling up so much that I'm getting a little stressed over it."

"Have you even looked at yourself in the mirror?" Izumo eyed his friend with concern. "You won't be looking like this if it was just stress from work. You look horrible, Iruka. You looked like you haven't been sleeping and eating well for days."

The chunin averted his gaze. "I'm fine." He repeated as he fought back the tears at the back of his eyes.

Izumo sighed. "I can't force you to say anything if you don't want to. But Iruka, just remember that when you are ready to talk, Kotetsu and I will be here to listen."

Iruka glanced up at his friend and gave a small smile.

"Thank you." He whispered hoarsely. Izumo stared at his friend for a moment before pulling a napkin from the box at the side of the table and handed it over to the tanned chunin. And it was then Iruka realized that the tears had fallen without him knowing.

"There's nothing that can't be solved, Iruka." Izumo walked over to his friend and clasped a comforting hand on the other chunin's shoulder. "Everything is going to be alright."

More tears fell from the brown orbs. Izumo reached over and gave his friend a comforting hug. "It's not worth tearing yourself up over problems. You are smart, Iruka. I'm sure you will find a way out."

Iruka closed his eyes as a sob tore from his throat. Yes, he did have a way out. But, can he really bring himself to do it?

=-=-=-=

Iruka remained seated in his bed motionlessly since his friend left, as he silently waited in the dark, even though he no longer had any idea of what he was really waiting for. But then again, did he have anything worth waiting for in the first place? Kakashi had taken away his hope, had crushed his dreams into smithereens with just a few choice words.

It had been a week since that fateful day and Kakashi hadn't been to his apartment since. Though, Iruka had seen him around in the village, always in the company of one jounin or the other. Just a few days back, he had even seen Kakashi outside the mission room, chatting amiably with a kunoichi who was so blatantly flirting with the copy nin.

The thought brought another wave of fresh pain on him. He had been able to catch Kakashi's gaze then. But the older man had given him an unreadable look before turning back to his conversation with the other lady. The nonchalant attitude had shattered Iruka's heart; or rather, what was remained of it and he had to garner all his control to pretend that he wasn't bothered and keep himself from breaking further.

Perhaps, Kakashi was now in the embrace of that kunoichi. That would explain his absence for the last days. And perhaps, that was his hint to Iruka that this was the end of their association; further concreting Iruka's guess that this had always been nothing more than a casual relationship; that he was nothing more than just another conquest under the copy nin's belt.

Iruka buried his face between his drawn knees, trying hard to not break down. Izumo was right. This was not worth it. Why should he be so torn up over it when Kakashi wasn't even bothered?

Because he had been the gullible one in this entire sham. He had been the one to foolishly invest his entire heart into this supposed relationship. And now, he could only suffer in silence, could only watch on helplessly even if Kakashi decided to hold another person in his arms and whisper the sweet, loving promises that he had been telling Iruka for the last few months. And there was no way he could stop it, no matter how much he wanted to.

Iruka was so lost in his own suffering that he failed to notice the presence that entered his room until he was wrapped up in strong arms. He glanced up with weary, red-rimmed eyes and felt a calloused thumb swiped away his tears.

"Iruka…"

The chunin did not say a word. He pushed the other man away and scooted over to the other side of the bed. He regarded his companion for a moment before his shaky fingers reached up and he began to unbutton his pajamas top. He was half way through when a gloved hand halted him.

"What are you doing?"

Iruka glanced up at the single piercing eye, a hint of anger and guilt hidden in it. He offered up a small smile, despite the tears the streaked down his cheeks.

"You came to take what you need, and I'm giving it to you. Isn't that the way it's supposed to go, Hatake-sama?"

The grey eye narrowed and the grip on the chunin's wrist tightened. "What are you talking about?"

"That's the kind of relationship we had all along, isn't it?" Iruka stared at the hand holding on to him, wondering how many times when that hand held him was because its owner truly cherished him.

Kakashi released the younger man in stunned shock and looked away. "Don't say that. You know that's not true."

"Then what is?" Iruka whispered, staring at the copy nin's vest, the tears no longer kept in check. "I don't know what to believe anymore, Kakashi. I hang on to your words so much that I can't even differentiate between dream and reality now. I don't even know how much of those words that you said are lies."

The jounin raked a hand through his hair, feeling a stab of pain in his heart. He reached forward and cupped the chunin's face. "I've never lied to you, Iruka. I mean every word I said."

Iruka shook his head. "Then why?" He choked. "Why can't you just admit that we are together?"

Kakashi closed his eye, taking in a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm sorry."

"Am I really not worthy of you, Kakashi?" Iruka pressed the heel of his palm against his eye. "Because I'm a chunin? Because we are not on par in our ranks? Because I'm just a lowly academy teacher, while you are the well-known copy nin? Am I so unworthy that you can't even bring yourself to acknowledge us?"

"Please Iruka, don't say such things." Kakashi tugged down his mask and leaned forward, placing a light kiss on the unresponsive lips. "Please. You know I've never thought it that way."

"I'm tired, Kakashi. Of always watching you from the shadows and never knowing what would become of us."Iruka turned his head away. "It hurts every time to deny our associations; to hear you tell others that I am nothing to you."

The jounin dropped his hand, guilt lacing his voice as he spoke. "Give me a little more time, Iruka. I promise I will let the others know soon."

Iruka turned to eye the older man, desperation in his tone. "How long?"

When there was no reply from Kakashi, Iruka felt his heart utterly breaking. He shook his head and whispered hoarsely. "Don't promise what you cannot give."

"Iruka……"

"What am I to you, Kakashi?" The chunin searched the single eye imploringly. "What do I really mean to you?"

"I love you, Iruka."

The words were like heavy chains to the heart. Iruka scrunched his eyes close, swiping the tears that clung on them.

'_How long do you intend to keep lying to me?'_

"It's enough, Kakashi." Iruka said in a defeated voice. "It's enough. I can't keep up anymore."

"Iruka –"

The chunin shook his head, not wanting to hear anymore. He knew it was high time for him to accept the fact that this twisted version of love will never lead them anywhere, except bringing the copy nin to his bed. And that was what this entire relationship had been about since the very first time it started. It was never meant to go deeper than just physical bonding. He should have known that Kakashi would never attach himself to him. He had so overestimated himself, thinking that the jounin was really in love with him.

Kakashi watched the younger man silently. He knew he should let go, he shouldn't hurt Iruka anymore. But he couldn't. He reached over and took a tanned hand in his.

"Please, Iruka."

"Don't, Kakashi." Iruka stared out of the window, knowing what he was going to say next would kill him. But he also knew he couldn't handle the copy nin treating him as nothing more than a fling. "We should end this. This game cannot continue anymore."

The grip on his hand went slacked. But Kakashi did not release it totally. Iruka finally turned his tearful eyes towards the older man.

'_Prove to me that you love me.'_

Iruka clung on desperately to that last hopeful notion that the older man would salvage this; that Kakashi would not give him up; that he truly loved the younger man.

But his hope was dashed when Kakashi released his hand and stood up, adjusting his mask over his face. He eyed the older man as Kakashi turned and headed for the window.

"You are right, Iruka-sensei. I'm sorry for intruding on you for so long."

The last hope shattered into nothingness. Fresh tears spilled from the brown eyes as they followed the silver-haired jounin's back, watching as the man headed towards the window.

'_Don't go.'_

Kakashi casted one last look at him before taking out of the window and into the night. When the chakra signal disappeared, Iruka wrapped his arms around himself, choking on his sobs.

"Am I really that unworthy of you, Kakashi?"

Outside the window, staying hidden in the shadows, Kakashi clenched his fist, fighting against the urge to reenter the room and comfort the younger man.

'_No, Iruka. I'm the one unworthy of your love.'_

=-=-=-=

* * *


	4. Chapter 4:Treading the Edge

**A/N: Ah yes, it's out. ^_^ Finally. Could have been updated earlier, but as usual, I procrastinated. =.= Nonetheless, here we go, the next chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 4: Treading the Edge

Two weeks after the breakup, and Iruka was still trying to cope. He buried himself in work, refusing socializing with his friends and colleagues and totally avoided contact with Team Kakashi.

He hated seeing Naruto's disappointed look every time he came up with one excuse or another to avoid going for meals with the blonde. But he knew that whenever Naruto was around, there was also a high possibility that his jounin team leader would be present too. And Iruka couldn't bring himself to face the older man. At least not when his emotional wounds have yet to start healing.

He had grown so withdrawn that Izumo and Kotetsu were beginning to worry about his mental state. Both chunin confronted him just as he was about to close up the mission room after his shift had ended for the day.

Iruka glanced up at his two friends standing in front of his desk, with arms folded and wearing solemn expressions.

"What's wrong?"

Izumo frowned. "That's what we want to know, Iruka. What's wrong with you?"

The teacher started to stack the scrolls on his desk, a tired smile on his face. "Nothing is wrong."

"We grew up together, Iruka. Do you think we can't see that you are deeply troubled by something?" Kotetsu leaned forward with a grim look.

Iruka sighed. "I'm really fine." He paused when the two pairs of eyes studying him tensed slightly, making him realize just how much tension he had been putting on the two chunin with his antics. He averted his gaze, deciding to go for just a partial truth. "Or at least I will be."

Izumo shifted and crouched down beside the tanned chunin, holding his hand and squeezing it in a comforting gesture. "What happened?"

Iruka shook his head. "It's nothing. Just… Some personal problems."

Izumo and Kotetsu exchanged glances. Kotetsu propped himself up and sat on the edge of the table. "Anything we can help?"

"No." Iruka smiled. "I will be fine. Just let me have some time alone to sort this out."

Izumo nodded. "If there's anything that you need us for, anything at all, let us know. Alright?"

Iruka closed his eyes to steady his shuddering breath. _'You can't help me to get what I want.'_

"Iruka?" Izumo tightened his grasp slightly.

"Don't worry, Izumo. I will be alright." Iruka whispered hoarsely. _'As long as he is happy, everything else doesn't matter.'_

Kotetsu leapt off the table and walked over to the other side of the academy teacher. He clasped a hand down on the shoulder and leaned down slightly. "Come on, I'm buying dinner."

=-=-=-=

Kakashi was silent as he strode alongside Asuma, not really seeing the point of going out for dinner just for the sake of bonding, as the other man had so nicely put it. He shoved his hands deep into his pocket and sighed, hearing his sandals crunching against the concrete floor, wondering silently just how Iruka was getting on.

Kakashi was sure that whoever had said that time will heal all wounds had been a great liar. Even after two weeks, the pain in his heart was still as fresh as it was the first day. And he was very sure that it wouldn't go away anytime soon. Probably, the pain will linger there for the rest of his life.

He followed quietly when Asuma stepped into Shushuya and strode down the walkway, heading for the table at the back of the restaurant. They were almost reaching their table when the jounin in front paused in his step and raised a hand in greeting to someone sitting at another table.

"Good evening, Iruka-sensei. Haven't been seeing you around for a while."

Kakashi froze at the name. He watched as the owner of that familiar ponytail stood from his seat and bowed politely to the bearded jounin.

"Ah, yes. I've been busy." Iruka smiled at the older shinobi. Then, his smile visibly faltered when he caught sight of Kakashi.

There was a moment of awkward silence. Asuma's gaze flittered from the chunin to his friend as he raised an eyebrow in deep contemplation. Kakashi was the first to look away and he gave the other jounin a bland look.

"So, are we still getting dinner?"

"Yes, of course." Asuma started towards the table and smiled at the three chunin. "Enjoy your evening, you three."

Iruka felt his heart pounding against his ribcage when the silver-haired jounin strode past him. And when the man walked away, he felt his heart being completely crushed all over again. He settled down in his seat, numb with hurt.

Izumo watched his friend carefully. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Iruka swallowed past the lump in his throat.

Kotetsu sighed. "Ah well, let's place our orders now, shall we?"

Iruka nodded weakly as he flipped the menu. But he wasn't really looking at it. Instead, his mind reeled back to that brief moment of meeting with Kakashi just a minute ago and how the jounin had appeared as nonchalant as any other time.

It was as if he hadn't even been affected by the ending of their relationship. As if their relationship had meant nothing to him at all.

And Iruka knew he shouldn't be surprised. After all, he had already known that. Wasn't that the reason why he had ended their nightly association? But still, suspecting it and having the truth slapped him in the face was two different things. The latter hurt much more. So much more.

And right then, he felt as if his heart was being ripped from his very being.

=-=-=-=

Iruka was beginning to smile at the antics that his friends were pulling over dinner in an attempt to cheer him up. The stories from their last missions, the happenings that took place while they assisted the Fifth and the occasional jibbing at each other. He sighed as he took a sip of his teacup and listened to yet another story Kotetsu was ranting about.

Their conversation was however, disrupted by someone who had stopped by their table.

"Kotetsu-san, a surprise to see you here."

The spiky-haired chunin paused in his story and glanced at the kunoichi standing by their table before recognition took place and he smiled somewhat awkwardly. "Hi, Inaho."

"Here with your friends?" The short-haired kunoichi casted a glance at Izumo and shifted over to Iruka, allowing her gaze to linger on the academy teacher longer.

"Uh, yes." Kotetsu smiled. "Here, let me introduce. This is Izumo. We assist Hokage-sama together. And this," He gestured to his other friend. "Is Iruka. He is an academy teacher and he works in the mission room. Guys, this is Inaho. We worked together in the last mission."

"Hi Inaho-san, a pleasure to meet you." Iruka smiled warmly.

"The pleasure is mine, Iruka-san."

"Ah Inaho, would you like to join us?" Kotetsu gestured to the empty seat beside him. "We could get another set of cutleries."

"Oh no, it's fine. I'm here with my team." The kunoichi smiled. "But I could sit and talk for a while."

Kotetsu shifted in the booth seat as the girl sat down beside him. Izumo politely called for another cup and poured a cup of tea for the kunoichi.

"So, Iruka-san, what is working in the academy like?" Inaho's eyes sparkled with interest. Iruka raised an eyebrow.

"She's thinking of joining the academy when she gains her chunin rank in the next exam." Kotetsu grinned.

"Ah, I see." Iruka scratched the side of his head. "Well, it isn't that difficult. You just have to learn how to deal with them."

Inaho laughed, a light twinkling sound. She glanced at Iruka with amusement. "Well, do you have any memorable experiences to share?"

=-=-=-=

Kakashi tried to ignore the conversation that was going on at the other table. He could hear Iruka's clear, gentle voice and there was an eager, feminine voice conversing with him. He closed his eye, trying to hide the pain and jealousy at the thought of another person getting close to Iruka. He shouldn't be selfish, he should let go. He should let someone else give Iruka the happiness that he had failed to give.

But he found his hands shaking at the mere thought of that. He knew he couldn't. At least not now. The feel of Iruka's body against him was still too clear, the gentle gestures, the loving words, the tender touches still rang in his mind.

"Are you alright?"

Kakashi opened his eye to find Asuma looking at him solemnly. He shrugged and put on his unconcerned façade.

"Yeah. What can be wrong?"

"Nothing." Asuma muttered as he sipped on his tea. _'Except that you look like you are going to break.'_

The copy nin was still gazing blankly at a spot past his shoulder. Curiosity got the better of him and Asuma casted a glance towards his back.

Iruka was talking and joking happily with a kunoichi. And he didn't even seem to be bothered by the fact that the lady was touching his hand ever so often. He sighed and turned back to his friend, watching the single grey eye cloud over with pain.

He understood. But that doesn't mean he must interfere. And knowing Kakashi, it would be best if he doesn't and leave the silver-haired man to sort things out on his own. Of course, it would be a different story if things reach a breaking point. But for now, he knew Kakashi needed his time alone – to work things out, to get over his pain, to mend his wounds. Whatever it was, Asuma knew he could only deal with the other man when he is clear-minded about what he wants.

He sighed again and called for the bill, making a quick payment and declining the change. Then he tapped the table, signaling to Kakashi that it was time to leave.

It would be best to let Kakashi go home now. That man didn't need further torment.

=-=-=-=

"Well, I have to go now. Thanks for dinner, Ko." Iruka smiled.

"No problem. I'm glad you enjoyed it." Kotetsu clasped down hard on the chunin's back. "Now go on home and take a good rest."

Iruka nodded. "I will see you guys tomorrow."

Izumo and Kotetsu watched as the tanned chunin headed down the streets. The long-haired chunin sighed. "Do you think he is really alright?"

"I sure hope so." Kotetsu muttered. "But well, since he's not going to tell us, I guess the only thing we can do for him is to be there for him."

Izumo shrugged. "I guess. But well, let's hope he will come around it and tell us what's going on."

"Yeah." Kotetsu gave a small smile. "Well, I'm tired. I'm gonna head home. Coming?"

Izumo chuckled. "Sure."

=-=-=-=

Kakashi stared out of his bedroom window. Sleep was just not coming to him and he had a nagging feeling he knew why. After all, this occurrence had only happened after he and Iruka had broke up.

He knew he had come to rely on the chunin more than he had wanted to. But then, that doesn't stop him from hurting Iruka. And he had hurt the man deeply; pushing him to the brink of breakdowns and miseries.

Iruka had devoted himself to the relationship, even if their interaction was only limited to a few stolen hours every night. But he had never fully appreciated that and instead, he had made so many promises to the younger man, never fulfilling a single one and hurting Iruka in the process.

It was no wonder Iruka thought him a cheater and a liar.

Iruka didn't deserve having all these hurts inflicted on him. He didn't deserve the torments that Kakashi had put him through. He deserves someone better than the jounin.

That thought hurts.

Kakashi shook his head, not wanting to think anymore. He spun around and grabbed his shirt, slipping it off, before heading out of the front door.

Perhaps, a night walk could help him to clear his mind.

=-=-=-=

Iruka walked down the streets, enjoying the feel of the breeze against his face and ruffling lightly at his hair. It was almost eleven at night. He hadn't expected his dinner with his two friends to have dragged on for so long. But then again, he was grateful.

Spending time with Izumo and Kotetsu had somehow distracted him for a moment and for the first time in a long while, he felt like he was himself again; laughing and joking without a care in the world. Perhaps the only tension that had appeared that evening was when he had met Kakashi. But after the jounin left with Asuma, Iruka had found himself getting drawn into his friends' cheerful atmosphere and it had lightened his spirit, even by a little.

He continued down the quiet street, heading towards his apartment, even as a sinking feeling began to set itself in his guts. He ignored the tight constriction in his chest and throat as he focused on the path ahead of him and his plans for his students the next day.

But his thoughts ran off track when he caught sight of the person walking towards him from the opposite direction. He froze in his steps, a chill running through him as the person before him raised his head and stared right into his eyes.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi was surprised. He hadn't been expecting to meet Iruka on the streets. He stood in his spot, hands shoved into his pocket as he eyed the younger man.

Iruka did not move a step either as he stood where he was, staring at the copy nin. Finally, Kakashi took a step forward.

"Hi."

"Hi." Iruka turned away as he adjusted the bag on his shoulder. He fidgeted uncomfortably as the silence between them stretched. Then he sighed.

"I have to go."

"Right." Kakashi stepped aside, allowing the chunin to pass.

Iruka looked up at him and the older man caught a flickering of emotion in the brown orbs.

Longing and probably anguish.

He would have given in to his impulse and move forward to wrap Iruka in his arms, to whisper to the younger man and ask him for another chance. He would promise to make this right and he would do everything possible and impossible to make Iruka happy.

But instead, he took another step back.

'_Don't promise what you cannot give.'_

Iruka was right. He would promise himself now. But when the time comes to it, he would not have the courage to carry out what he had promised. Time and again, he had done that. And time and again, he had hurt Iruka.

He couldn't risk that anymore. He couldn't be selfish. Turning away, he gave a curt nod to the chunin.

"Good night then, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka closed his eyes as the older man walked away, listening to the sandals crunching into the concrete ground. The tears brimmed in his eyes, but they did not fall. Summoning up the last of his strength, he walked away, knowing that whatever hope he had still harbored, had died that night.

=-=-=-=

* * *


	5. Chapter 5: Hiding the Pain

Chapter 5: Hiding the Pain

They went out of their way to avoid each other after that night, not wanting to tear open further wounds or to add on to the hurt. Iruka buried himself deeper into work, occasionally being dragged by Kotetsu and Izumo for meals or a simple chill-out session. And then there was Kotetsu's friend, Inaho. The kunoichi had on more than one occasion asked Iruka out for tea or meals and initially, the chunin had thought nothing much of it. But recently, when the topics of conversations spun into more personal matters, he was beginning to wonder if there was something more to the lady's antics.

As for Kakashi, though he hadn't wanted to see the older man, he still couldn't help himself trying to find out how he was getting on. With the rampant threat of Akatsuki roaming in the Fire Country, the jounin had immersed himself in Naruto's training, making sure that the blonde would be able to master some techniques that he could use to defend himself for future encounters with the enemies. Other than training, Kakashi had also been sent out on the occasional missions, which usually has more to do with assisting Jiraiya in gathering information about Akatsuki. At times like these, Iruka couldn't help but fear for the jounin's safety, though he knew, it was probably no longer in his place to do so.

They did not see each other until one month later.

At Asuma's funeral.

The bearded jounin, who had gained his fame by being one of the Twelve Guardians, protecting the daimyo of the Fire Country in his younger days, had been killed by one of the two Akatsuki members who were reportedly been roaming in the Land of Fire. Asuma had been angered when the enemies had attacked the Fire Temple and killed one of his close friends who had been residing there and had tracked down and confronted the two Akatsuki members.

Though they had some success initially in bringing down the enemies, but eventually, Asuma had still been killed by a technique they had never seen before.

Iruka had been shocked into stunned silence when Izumo and Kotetsu – who had been on the jounin's team – had turned up at his doorsteps, utterly distraught as they informed him about the memorial service. His immediate train of thoughts had turned to Kakashi. He knew just how close the two jounin were and he wondered how the older man, whom undoubtedly had been informed of the news, was coping with it.

And even now, as he crouched down beside Konohamaru, trying to comfort the bawling genin and listening to Tsunade paying a tribute to the fallen jounin, he couldn't help the glances he kept casting towards Kakashi's direction.

Kakashi was as stoic as any other time as he stood among the group of jounin and to the public eyes, he was merely there in respect for another fallen comrade, and not a good friend. But from the tensed posture and the hidden grief in the half-lidded grey eye, Iruka knew just how much Asuma's death was affecting the older man. That was just one of the few things he learnt how to read during the time he had been with Kakashi.

He stood up and remained in a respectful position when Kurenai made her way forward to place a bouquet on the headstone. The kunoichi did not cry, or rather, Iruka knew, she was too numbed with grief to cry. The dark-haired lady laid the flowers down and stood by the stone motionlessly. Then, she crumbled to the ground.

Anko and Shizune were by her side in a flicker of an eye and the two kunoichi crouched down beside her to offer words of comfort before they helped her away.

"Where's Shikamaru?"

Iruka turned his head to where Ino was standing, as the kunoichi glanced around for her teammate.

"I went to his house. But his mother said he had already left." Choji answered as he held back a sniff. "I would have thought he had come here by himself."

Iruka's eyes softened. Shikamaru would have to be badly affected too, seeing how he had been so close to his team leader. He wondered if the teen would be alright.

"He will be fine, Iruka-sensei."

The chunin turned towards the teen beside him and Naruto gave him a sad smile. "Shikamaru will be alright. I have faith in him."

Iruka smiled at how Naruto could be so perceptive at times. He clasped a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Yes, I know."

=-=-=-=

The group gradually dispersed after the service. Iruka watched as Anko silently led a devastated Kurenai away. Ibiki casted one last look at the stone, hands shoved in his pockets, and followed quietly after the two kunoichi. Hinata, Kiba and Shino each gave a respective bow towards the stone before walking after the group to make sure that Kurenai was alright.

Naruto turned towards the chunin and muttered something about sending Konohamaru back to Ebisu. Iruka gave him a nod and a comforting hug to the younger genin before sending the two on their way.

The crowd trickled out of the funeral grounds and finally, only a few remained standing in their spots, quietly offering their last prayers.

Sakura wiped the tears that lingered in the corner of her eyes and waited quietly while Choji and Ino remained by the stone, unmoving and giving paying their silent respects to their late teacher. And it wasn't until the blonde kunoichi crumbled to the ground, crying miserably into her hands, that Sakura finally moved forward and led her away. Tenten offered a napkin to the sobbing girl and rubbed her back soothingly, trying to calm her down as Lee and Neji followed quietly behind Choji, who was wiping the remnants of tear streaks from his face.

Iruka walked over to his former students and laid a comforting hand on Ino's shoulder, whispering words of comfort to the teen. When the girl finally calm down, he gave her a soft smile.

"Remember this, Ino . Asuma-san has always been proud of every single one of you. Carry his will in you and continue on, alright?"

The long-haired girl nodded quietly, wiping the tears from her face.

Sakura and Iruka looked up when Yamato and Sai approached them.

"Are you guys leaving?" Yamato glanced at the group and rubbed his face tiredly.

"Yes." Sakura looked past the ex-ANBU's shoulder and stared at the spot near the stone. "Isn't Kakashi-sensei leaving as well?"

"No." Yamato turned to look over his shoulder where Genma and Raidou were talking to Kakashi in low voices. "He's going to stay for a while more."

"I see." Sakura's gaze followed the two tokubetsu jounin as they left her team leader alone and headed in their direction.

"Kakashi-senpai and Asuma-san have known each other for years." Yamato sighed. "I wouldn't be surprised if he is affected by his death."

Genma and Raidou walked towards the group and gave them a nod of acknowledgement before walking away. Iruka watched as Tsunade walked up to the copy nin and laid a hand on his shoulder, talked to him for a short moment before she too left with Shizune.

"Will he be alright?" Sakura frowned in worry.

"Don't worry. He will get through this. Just give him some alone time to deal with it." Yamato smiled reassuringly at the teen.

Sakura eyed him uncertainly for a moment before nodding. "Alright then. If that's the case, then I'm going to send Ino home."

Yamato nodded. "I guess we should all go too."

With that said, the group walked away from the burial grounds. Iruka lingered at the back, casting his gaze back to the silver-haired jounin standing silently by the stone, before he picked up his pace and joined Izumo and Kotetsu who were waiting for him.

=-=-=-=

Iruka strode down the streets and headed towards his own apartment after making sure Izumo and Kotetsu were settled in their apartments and coping with the loss. He made his way over to the Naras' residence, with the intention to check up on Shikamaru. Yoshino greeted him at the door.

"Iruka-sensei, what brings you here? Please come in."

"Oh no, it's alright." Iruka smiled. "I just came by to see how Shikamaru is doing."

"Ah, that boy." Yoshino sighed. "He's locking himself up in his room and refusing to talk to anyone. Asuma's death is affecting him much more badly than I thought."

Iruka nodded in understanding. "I see. Well, I supposed we should leave him be for a while. Send him my condolences."

Yoshino nodded. "Sure. Don't you want to come in for a cup of tea?"

"No, it's fine, Yoshino-san. I have to attend to some matters now."

"I will see you around then, Iruka-sensei. Thank you for dropping by." The dark-haired lady smiled.

Iruka bowed politely and turned away from the door, continuing down his path until he came to a crossroad where he hesitated.

One direction will lead him back to his apartment while the other…

Iruka bit his bottom lip as he debated silently. Then sighing, he decided that it would be best to go home. After all, Kakashi had others who will be there for him. He didn't need Iruka. Not anymore

=-=-=-=

Kakashi stood before tombstone, not paying any heed to the light drizzling that was falling on him. He traced his fingers on the engraving carved deep into the stone.

'_Asuma.'_

It was hard to believe that the same person who had been joking and talking to him just three days before was now lying six-feet underground. It had been heart-wrenching seeing Kurenai so devastated over her lover's death. But at least, they had spent some good time together. So even then, neither of them should have any regrets.

He let out a bitter smile as he crouched before the stone. Regrets. He supposed he would probably be filled with them should he be the one in Asuma's place. Regrets for having failed to protect those he loved, for not being strong enough to guard the village, for not fulfilling his promises to those who died and most of all, for hurting Iruka.

As his fingers followed the path of the engravings, his mind brought him back to that time one month ago when he had that brief conversation with Asuma.

=-=-=-=

_Flashback_

Asuma called for the bills and paid for dinner before motioning for Kakashi to leave. The silver-haired jounin was almost grateful as he stood from his seat and made his way out of the restaurant. Along the way, he passed Iruka, who was still conversing happily with the kunoichi who had joined him and his two friends at the table.

The chunin did not even look at him. Kakashi knew he shouldn't be surprised. But the thought of Iruka forgetting him hurts. His gaze lingered on the younger man for a second before he kept his emotions hidden and followed Asuma out of the restaurant.

And it was there, the bearded jounin gave him the most contemplative stare.

"What?"

"What was going on inside?" Asuma lit up a cigarette and stared at him.

"What do you mean?" Shoving his hands into his pockets, Kakashi started off.

"You know what I mean. You were looking so intently at Iruka-sensei." Asuma exhaled the puff of smoke and eyed his friend. "Is there something going on between the two of you?"

"No."

"Ha… Funny. It kinds of looks like you two in the middle of a lovers' spat and not willing to make up." The bearded jounin gave a dry laugh.

Kakashi tensed momentarily. Then he glared at Asuma. "There's nothing going on between us."

"I wouldn't bother if there is something going on anyway." Asuma said solemnly as he strode alongside his friend. "This is your personal life. I'm not interested to intrude."

"Asuma –"

"You know, Kakashi, we are all shinobi. Sometimes, I look at Kurenai, I wonder if it's worth me risking a relationship with her when I know that our lives are uncertain. Either she or I may not come back from the next mission alive and we will leave the other broken." He stared up into the dark sky. "But then, I remember something my father used to tell me: We do not get a second chance in life. Many a times, we hesitate, we fear to take a step forward because we think we are not strong enough to face the consequences. And then, when we lose what is important to us, we live with that regret for the rest of our lives."

Asuma smiled wryly as he fiddled with his cigarette. "And I suppose that principle applies to relationships too. That is why I guess I dared to venture that far with Kurenai. I don't want to die with regrets hanging in me."

Kakashi shoved his hands into his pocket and acted nonchalant about his friend's words. Asuma gave him a solemn look and a shake of his head.

"Remember this, Kakashi. If you love someone, let them know. Not by words alone, but by the action too. Because, you never know if you will get to see them again when the sun rises the very next morning. The regret of never letting your loved one know how you feel is probably worse than having to face any consequences that might arise from making them aware."

The two jounin came to a stop at the staircase of their apartment building and they began to ascend the steps. Kakashi snorted. "Your advice is not applicable to me, Asuma. I'm not in love." _'Or rather, it's over between us.'_

The bearded jounin merely gave him a smirk before waving him goodbye and retreating to his own apartment.

_End of flashback_

=-=-=-=

Kakashi let out a wry smile. _'Have you known it all along, Asuma? But you know, you are right. It's just that your advice came a little too late. It came only after we have broken up.'_

A silent crunch behind him made him turn his head. His eye widened in surprise when he realized who it was.

=-=-=-=

Iruka had no idea what made him decide to return to the burial grounds. But then there he was, instead of heading back home, he was standing right behind Kakashi while the jounin crouched before the stone, lost in his own thoughts. In the end, he decided that no matter if Kakashi had ever loved him, his heart had been with the jounin right from the beginning and he just couldn't bear to see the older man so torn up over the death of his friend.

He took another step forward and his sandals crushed the grass below. Kakashi turned his head and the single grey eye widened slightly before the older man straightened himself and turned fully to regard him.

Iruka walked up to the jounin. Neither man said a word as they watched each other. Finally, Iruka averted his gaze to the stone and asked in a quiet voice.

"Are you alright?"

Kakashi was momentarily stunned by the concern. He shifted his gaze away from the younger man and sighed deeply. "Yes."

"You don't sound fine."

"I will be."

Iruka knelt down before the stone and offered a silent prayer. Kakashi stood behind him, his single eye tracing the form of the younger man.

Perhaps it was because of Asuma's sudden death that made him realize just how fragile life can be. But he had an impulse to just move forward and wrap Iruka in his arms. When Iruka stood up, he took a step forward, hesitated, and then moved back again.

It was true that Asuma's death made him realize that he should be treasuring the people around him. But his friend's death had also given him another insight.

Should he die one day like Asuma, he could hurt everyone if he let them too close. Kurenai was a good example. The kunoichi had been shattered by her lover's death and Kakashi knew she wouldn't be recovering anytime soon. Could he bear to put Iruka through such agony?

He couldn't do that to Iruka. It would be selfish of him to keep the younger man by his side now and subject him to pain in the near future. And besides, how can he be sure that the chunin will take him back after all the hurt he had put the man through?

The chunin turned and gave him a soft smile. "I have to go. You should go too, Kakashi-sensei. It's not a good thing standing under the rain for too long. You could fall sick."

Kakashi nodded quietly as the chunin walked past him. He closed his eye and clenched his fist, fighting the urge to keep Iruka from walking out of the burial grounds and out of his life again. And even as he felt his own heart breaking, he told himself that this is for the best.

He turned his back to the younger man, not noticing the tears that Iruka was swiping from his face as he walked out through the gates.

=-=-=-=

* * *


	6. Chapter 6: Realizing the Mistake

**A/N: Well, here's the next chapter. ^_^ I know previous chapters had always been Iruka hurting over the relationship. So well, this chapter will show that Iruka (probably) isn't the only one affected.  
**

**And as usual, all comments are welcome! And also, ****thanks for all the previous reviews! ****You know I love you. ****Heh... So well, enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 6: Realizing the Mistake

Iruka stepped out of the hospital room quietly and took a last look at the peacefully sleeping blonde on the bed. He smiled fondly. _'He always pushes himself too hard.'_ Slipping the door close behind him, he headed down the quiet corridor, making his way to the exit.

He gave a deep sigh, relieved that Naruto was alright. Or at least that was what Sakura had reassured him. He had been worried sick when the teens had been sent out to deal with the Akatsuki members and when he had been told that Kakashi had been sent out together, instead of feeling relieved, his fear had doubled. And only after seeing them all returning safely and that the silver-haired jounin suffering from a few lacerations, but was otherwise fine, did he finally set his mind at ease.

He turned the corner and stepped into the brightly lit hospital lobby. He was about to head towards the exit when someone called his name.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi rubbed his temples in exasperation. Tsunade shook her head.

"No, he's not to use that jutsu again. It's too destructive and you've seen it."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama."

"Make sure he understands the consequences." The blonde-haired lady sighed and stared at the mutilated body of Kakuzu, which Kakashi had brought back after their victory. "The damages that have been done to him are to a cellular level. He has to know that no one, not even me, will be able to save his arms if he insists on using the technique again."

"We understand, Tsunade-sama. We will talk to him." Kakashi nodded.

"Good. The two of you are dismissed."

The two jounin bowed politely before leaving the examination room. Once out into the corridors, Yamato turned to the older man. "Do you think he will listen?"

"He has to if he doesn't want to jeopardize his career as a shinobi." Kakashi muttered. "But still, I'm surprised how dangerous that technique was."

"Yeah."

"Still, it's amazing he managed to come up with that in such a short time." Kakashi smiled. "If given a little more time, I'm sure he would make even more progress."

Yamato shrugged as he and Kakashi stepped into the lobby. He raised an eyebrow when he spotted a familiar figure heading towards the exit.

"Iruka-sensei!"

The pony-tailed academy teacher turned around and his eyes widened in surprise. Kakashi went stiff as he stood in his spot. Yamato smiled and made his way to the chunin.

"Here to visit Naruto?"

"Ye.. Yes." Iruka shifted his gaze away from the silver-haired jounin and focused on Yamato. "I heard he was injured. So I came over to check on him. What about you?"

"We just had a meeting with Tsunade-sama." Yamato said as Kakashi walked up silently to join him.

"About Naruto's condition?" Iruka's brows furrowed in worry.

"Well, yes."

"What did she say?"

Yamato scratched the side of his head and contemplated on what to tell the academy teacher. "Ah well… She said – "

"He will be fine." Kakashi cut in softly. "He just needs to rest."

Iruka nodded uncertainly. He shifted uncomfortably under the gaze of the copy nin and decided to make his leave. "Well, I –"

The front door of the hospital burst open and someone came barreling through. The three shinobi turned their heads towards the slight commotion and watched as the person came to an abrupt stop, stared at them for a few moments before a smile lit up and headed towards them.

"Oh my god, Iruka, here you are! How are you feeling? Is there anywhere you are in pain? You were fine when I saw you yesterday. What happened?"

Iruka blushed at the attention he was getting. He carefully took the hand that was searching him for injuries away and smiled warmly. "I'm quite fine, Inaho-san."

"Then why are you in the hospital?" The kunoichi demanded. Iruka blinked a few times before he took a step back.

"I'm here to visit someone."

Inaho's shoulders sagged in relief. "Oh good. Damn that Kotetsu. Told me you were sent to the hospital for emergency treatments."

Iruka laughed awkwardly. Yamato shook his head in amusement. "Well, Iruka-sensei, you must be very well-liked to have people fussing over you like this."

The voice snapped his mind back and he was reminded of the two companions who had been with him before Inaho had barged in. He bowed apologetically to the two jounin even as he casted a glance at Kakashi.

The jounin was emotionless.

Iruka turned his head away and he smiled at Yamato. "I'm sorry about the disturbance."

Yamato waved him off. "Nothing to apologize about, Iruka-sensei."

The chunin bowed slightly. "I think I should be going now."

"Sure. We will see you around then."

Iruka turned towards the exit. Inaho immediately ran after the man and began to engage him in a conversation.

Kakashi watched as the two left the lobby. And it was only at that moment that he finally understood what it means by thoroughly shattered.

=-=-=-=

A quiet afternoon in the mission room, Kotetsu was bored out of his mind. He twirled the pen between his thumb and finger and grinned at his friend.

"Say Iruka, is there something that you should be telling me, but you haven't actually got down to telling me yet?"

The chunin raised his eyes and eyed Kotetsu for a moment before turning back to his work. "No."

"Really, nothing?"

"No. What are you getting at?"

"Inaho."

Iruka raised an eyebrow as he rolled up the scroll before him and tossed it aside. "And what about her?"

"Are the two of you dating?" Kotetsu smirked.

Iruka's eyes widened in surprise. "No! What makes you think that?"

"She's been hanging around you a lot lately. And she's pretty concerned about your well-being. Just last week, when you went to the hospital to visit Naruto, she came by and asked me about you. When I told her you were in the hospital, she almost freaked out."

"And I haven't gotten back at you for that." Iruka frowned. "Why did you tell her I was injured?"

"Ah, just to see her reaction." Kotetsu stood from his seat and walked over to his friend with a grin. "I think she's in love with you."

Iruka snorted.

"What? It's the truth." Kotetsu grinned. "So, what are your thoughts?"

Iruka shrugged. "What thoughts?"

"Ever considered going into a long-term relationship with her?"

Iruka's grip on his pen tightened. "No."

"You probably should. It's time that you find a girlfriend anyway."

The chunin dropped his pen and was silent for a while. Then he glanced at his friend with a smile. "Not now." _'Not when I'm still thinking of him.'_

"You should move on, Iruka."

Iruka tensed. He glanced at his friend, wondering what it was that had made Kotetsu said that. It can't be that the other chunin knew about his association with Kakashi.

"You know, Naruto is all grown up. You don't have to dedicate all your time to him, looking after him and making sure that he is fine and all. He's sixteen. He should know how to take care of himself. And besides, I'm sure he would love to see you get attached too." Kotetsu grinned.

Iruka sagged in relief. He shook his head to clear his muddling thoughts and gave Kotetsu a smile. "I really don't see the point."

"Really Iruka, you should start thinking about your own future. Besides, you haven't been smiling a lot in recently. Maybe a love life will help." Kotetsu leaned forward, a light smirk on his face. "And perhaps, Naruto would be happier if he has two people buying him ramen instead of only one."

Iruka scowled. Kotetsu shrugged. "Just offering you some advice. Inaho may not be the prettiest girl in this village. But at least she cares about you and besides, it's better to be loved than to love. Loving someone breaks your heart much easier. So count yourself lucky that you are being loved."

A jounin entered the room to submit his mission report. Kotetsu sauntered back to his desk to do his work. Iruka took the report with a smile and bent over it, studying it intently.

But he wasn't really focusing on the words. Instead, he was thinking about what his friend had just said. It was true. Loving someone hurts so much more. He should know since he had first hand experience, Kakashi always appeared to not have a care about it because he was the one being loved.

He stamped the approval on the report and smiled at the shinobi who returned it with a polite nod and left the room.

Perhaps, he should really take heed of what Kotetsu said. The other chunin may be fun-loving and lack seriousness most of the time, but this time round, Iruka had to admit that he made sense. But whether or not he enters into another relationship is a separate issue for consideration later. Right now, there was only one thing that Iruka agreed on.

It's time for him to move on.

=-=-=-=

Iruka picked at his food, as he wondered how Naruto was getting on. The blonde had been away to train with Jiraiya again after having been discharged from the hospital a month ago. Iruka never really knew what it was about the teen's injuries that had gotten everyone on edge before Kakashi finally sent him away with the sannin to train out of the village. Sakura kept assuring him that Naruto would be fine. But from the worried expressions he had seen on Tsunade's, Kakashi's and Yamato's faces during the time Naruto was staying in the hospital, he knew that things just weren't that simple.

But still, none of them had told him anything. He tried asking Yamato, but the jounin always hesitated in his answers before he was cut off by Kakashi with a reassurance that Naruto was alright.

Iruka wasn't so sure though. And even now, as he sat in the restaurant, with his food before him, he found himself worrying about the blonde teen.

"What's the matter, Iruka? Is the food not nice?"

The chunin snapped from his reverie. He glanced up at his companion with an awkward smile. "Ah no. Just thinking about some matters. Sorry about that, Inaho-san."

The kunoichi smiled and went back to her meal and her one-sided conversation with Iruka. The chunin sighed and stared down at his food.

He was wondering if he was being fair to Inaho. It was true that he had convinced himself to move on and that was why, he had been more agreeable to go out for meals whenever Inaho looked him up nowadays. He thought that Kakashi only lingered on his mind because he had no one else to focus on and had thought that mingling around with others would probably bring his mind away from the silver-haired man. Although he wasn't quite ready yet to put himself in another relationship, he had decided that he would at least try getting himself comfortable in the presence of Inaho.

But even after three months now that they had broken up and Iruka had started hanging out with the kunoichi for a month, he still couldn't get Kakashi out of his mind. Even as he sat there with the bubbly lady chattering on, he still found himself only able to focus on the jounin that still lingered in his thoughts.

"If you are tired, Iruka, we could go back." Inaho's voice cut into his deep contemplations again. Iruka looked up.

"Oh no, I'm sorry."

"Nothing to apologize about." Inaho laughed. "I suppose the mission room and academy have been busy lately."

"Well, yes." Iruka rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

The kunoichi called for the bill and Iruka sighed deeply as he pulled out his wallet.

"Don't worry about it, I've got the bill." Inaho smiled.

"No, I should pay for it. You asked me out for dinner, but I haven't really been good company." Iruka drew out some bills and handed it to the waitress. He turned back to Inaho who was smiling happily at him. "Shall we go?"

"Sure."

The two stood and headed towards the exit. But before they could open the door, it swung open from the other side and a group of shinobi stepped in.

"Iruka-sensei, what a nice surprise."Raidou smiled warmly when he caught sight of the academy teacher.

"Ah, Raidou-san." He turned to look at the tokubetsu's other companions. "Genma-san, Gai-sensei," He swallowed hard as he set his eyes on the last person. "Kakashi-sensei."

"Had your dinner already?" Raidou's voice brought him back to the man. Iruka turned his attention back and smiled.

"Yes."

"And," The scarred jounin's gaze shifted to the person beside the chunin and he grinned. "Is that your date?"

Iruka's eyes widened in surprise. Inaho giggled softly and blushed.

"Ah, Raidou-san, I'm afraid you are mis –"

"Oh, Iruka-sensei, looks like the spirit of love is blossoming in you. I wish you the very best in your youthful pursuit of this beautiful love!" Gai gave him a thumb-up and a grin. Iruka turned a dark shade of red.

Some patrons in the restaurant turned their heads at the booming voice of Gai. Iruka groaned and wished that the ground would swallow him. Bowing hastily, he bade farewell to his four superiors to avoid further attention.

"I have to go now. I will see you around."

He stepped through the door and felt a jolt running through his body when he brushed past Kakashi. He turned briefly to glance at the jounin and he could sense the tension in the broad shoulders. But before he could allow his mind to run rampant on thoughts about the jounin, he turned away, with Inaho beside him, chattering again.

"What is he doing with that girl?" Raidou mused. "I would have thought there would be others more suitable for Iruka-sensei."

"You know her?"

"Seen her a few times." Raidou shrugged. "She failed the chunin exams four times. Each time was because one of her team members gave up at Ibiki's test. That crucial last question, remember?"

"Yes." Genma twirled his senbon as his gaze fixated itself on the two figures walking further down the road. "So she's a genin?"

"Supposed so." Raidou turned towards the inside of the restaurant. "But well, whatever. As long as Iruka's happy with her. Come on, let's get dinner."

"I'm leaving." Kakashi said as he shoved his hands into his pockets and stepped out through the door.

"Huh? Aren't you hungry, eternal rival?" Gai stared at him, befuddled.

"No."

Raidou stared after his departing friend. "What happened?"

Genma sighed. "You guys go ahead. I will catch up with him and find out what's wrong. We will join you later."

Raidou and Gai watched as the honey-haired man ran down the streets after his friend. Both men looked at each other before walking into the restaurant to find a table.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi stood before the memorial stone, studying each and every engraved name that he had held close to his heart. His gaze landed on the latest addition and his fingers reached out to trace the engravings.

'_Ironic, isn't it, Asuma? I convinced myself that I should let him go. That it would be the best for both of us if we don't stay together. I know I should be happy that he is moving on; that he has found his own happiness. But why then, does it feel so suffocating to see him going out with someone else?'_

"Asuma was right after all."

The silver-haired jounin turned his head and saw Genma walking towards him.

"What are you talking about?"

Genma walked up and stood next to the copy nin, as his eyes traced the name of his late friend and he closed his eyes in a silent prayer. After a moment, he opened them and gave a wistful smile.

"Asuma has always been the most observant one amongst us. He often acted as if he doesn't care about any of us, but in fact, he's the one who understood us best."

Kakashi stared at the stone. "Yeah." He muttered softly.

"Remember that one time in the waiting room some months back when I asked you about going into a relationship with Iruka?" Genma sighed. "He gave me hell after that for being insensitive to you and to Iruka."

Kakashi looked away. How could he forget? That was the incident that leads up to them ending their relationship because he had so blatantly denied Iruka in front of the entire jounin population.

"All along, he had suspected something going on between you and Iruka with the way you two interacted with each other when you meet. But you never said anything, so he being himself and all, never bothered to ask. He said he respected your privacy and it is your right not to tell if there had been anything." Genma took out his senbon and twirled it between his fingers.

"His suspicions were further confirmed during the incident at the waiting room where you guys crashed into Iruka right outside the door." Genma was silent for a minute as he contemplated his next words. Then he sighed deeply. "He said Iruka was so shattered that he couldn't even bring himself to look at you and that you totally went stiff with tension. That was when he realized that there was really something going on between the two of you."

Kakashi frowned and turned to look at the other jounin. Was Genma trying to sound him out?

But there was no sign of teasing or sarcasm in the other man's face. Instead, Genma was staring silently at the stone with a hint of guilt. Kakashi sighed.

"I don't know where you and Asuma got the idea from. But there's nothing –"

"Don't say there's nothing going on between the two of you, Kakashi." Genma said quietly. "Did you even see yourself just now? You were so affected just seeing Iruka with that girl."

"That was –"

"I apologize, Kakashi. If I hadn't said what I said that time, things probably wouldn't have turned out so bad."

Kakashi looked away and sighed in defeat. "This has nothing to do with you, Genma." _'It was me all along. I broke all my promises to him. I made him doubt our relationship.'_

Genma turned to look at him with a sad smile. "I was partly responsible. I take back what I said, Kakashi. Iruka – he's probably good for you." He clasped a hand on the jounin's shoulder. "Nothing is a fixed situation yet. Salvage this while you can."

Kakashi turned back to the stone and let out a low laugh. Could he still do that? It was apparent Iruka had moved on and no matter how much he missed the younger man and how much it crushed him to see the chunin being happy with someone else, he would not come in between Iruka and his girlfriend. The chunin had finally found the happiness that Kakashi had failed to give. He couldn't break that. That was the least he could do to make up a little for those hurt he had put Iruka through, even if that resolution shattered whatever was left of him.

He placed a hand on the top of the memorial stone to calm his shaking self. He had always taken Iruka for granted. Only now did he finally understood how the brunette had felt when he had left him alone to wake up on those mornings, when he had denied all associations with him and when he had never acknowledged Iruka more than a bed partner. Because right now, he was going through the same emotional turmoil, though for different reasons.

It was pure agony.

=-=-=-=

* * *

_And because you didn't leave me a link to reply, I'm giving you my replies here:_

_Sara: Thanks for your review, but no, I'm not the one who killed Asuma. Theoretically, because Kishimoto-sensei was the one who killed him. I'm merely uhm, making use of the main storyline to incorporate it into my story._

_eve: Yes, Kakashi tends to be a little complicated. Though of course, as time pass, he will be sure of what he really wants._

_melissa: Thanks for the review. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy! ^_^_

* * *


	7. Chapter 7: Failing the Attempt

**A/N: Finally, it's done. Well, I'm sorry it took so long to have this up, but I had this chapter re-written so many times in order to get the right feel. Nonetheless, hope you will enjoy this. ^_^**

**And, thanks for all the previous reviews!  
**

* * *

Chapter 7: Failing the Attempt

Kakashi slipped off his vest and tossed it onto the couch as he headed towards his bedroom. Tiredly, he slumped down on his bed, feeling the brunt of the three weeks mission; which its initial objective had been to gather information on Orochimaru's hideout, but had somehow spun into a full-blown battle with the defected Sannin's minions and a tussle over the Three-tails.

Nonetheless, he was thankful that it was over and that the watch over the Three-tails was now handed over to the ANBU squad. Perhaps now, with some free time in between before he get called on again, he would be able to put some thought into his last conversation with Genma

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out an amulet – something which Iruka had given to him during the time they had been together. It had been the chunin's way of telling him to be safe and Kakashi had treasured it, and even now, still held it close to his heart.

He fingered the cloth absently as he sat in his bed, his conversation with Genma from three weeks ago replaying itself in his mind.

=-=-=-=

_Flashback_

"You still have a chance to salvage this, Kakashi."

"Funny that I can't see it that way." Kakashi stared at the stone with a sardonic smile. "He's attached, Genma."

Genma crossed his arms and glared at his friend. "He did not admit to being in a relationship with that girl, Kakashi. It was only Raidou and Gai jumping to conclusions. I prefer to believe that he's not involved with her in any way."

"Delusional, aren't you?"

"No, it's just that I prefer to think positively." Genma sighed. "All is fair in love, Kakashi. You have the right to fight for him. At the end of the day, it's up to Iruka to decide who he wants to be with. So unless he tells you openly that he wants you to leave him alone, that he doesn't want to have anything more to do with you, you can still try to win him back."

"He initiated the break-up, Genma." Kakashi said wistfully as he stared into the dark sky. "I believe that should clearly indicate to me that he doesn't want to have anything more to do with me."

The other jounin shook his head and smiled. "For a genius, you are really dense sometimes. I think you should know better than me why he broke off with you. Was it really because he doesn't want to be with you anymore, or was it because of other reasons?"

Kakashi was silent. Genma patted him gently on the shoulder.

"Think about it, Kakashi. Because from the way Iruka looked at you earlier on, I think you haven't lost your chance to win him back."

_End of flashback_

=-=-=-=

The jounin sighed deeply. Genma had known then and Kakashi hadn't bothered to deny. There wasn't a point anyway. Denying hadn't gotten him anywhere before and it wouldn't get him anywhere now. In fact, if he was being honest with himself, the tokujo had said some pretty sensible things. Though he didn't know if he should believe what the other man had said and start planting false hopes in himself again.

But still, he had found himself contemplating over this issue during the course of the mission at the intervals when they had been resting for the night or just simply taking a break and despite it all, he found himself hoping. Perhaps, probably, this time round, he could do it right and salvage the remnants of the relationship. If Iruka would just give him another chance.

'_I should talk to him.'_

An absent smile played on his face as he fingered the amulet. He _will_ talk to Iruka; ask for his forgiveness and a chance to start this all over again. Genma was right. Iruka had left him because he was tired of having to hide their relationship. If, if he could overcome his own fears and accept the possibility of a public relationship, Iruka might come back to him.

Though of course, he would first have to sort out his own thoughts. Whatever uncertainties have to go before he approach the younger man. He wouldn't want to hurt Iruka again with his frivolity.

And he would have to do it fast. Iruka would not wait for him forever, that he was sure. He sighed and stared out of his bedroom window, reminded by that one phrase which had gradually pushed Iruka away.

'_Give me a little more time.'_

He clutched the amulet in his hand and closed his eyes, as he muttered a soft promise.

"This time, Iruka, I promise I will be ready. I will not ask you to wait anymore."

=-=-=-=

Kakashi never got his chance to talk to Iruka. Two days after he had returned to the village, they received news that Orochimaru had been killed by Sasuke. And even before he had mustered up enough courage to approach the chunin, Tsunade had tasked him to assemble his team, Team eight and Yamato to track down Itachi, knowing that the younger Uchiha would undoubtedly, be after his brother to avenge his clan.

He prepared to leave on his mission, aware that at this point, the village comes first and tracking down Sasuke takes precedence. Though before he left, he stopped by at the academy when the students were having their break. Iruka was stunned when he appeared in the classroom.

"How can I help you, Kakashi-sensei?"

The jounin hesitated a little at the cold tone of Iruka. He sighed and walked over to the table where Iruka was busy grading the assignments.

"Iruka, I'm going on a mission."

The chunin glanced up at him and there was a flicker of uncertainty in the brown orbs before Iruka turned away. When he spoke, his voice had softened a little.

"All the best then."

Kakashi raked a hand through his hair. "When I come back," he eyed the younger man tentatively. "Can we talk?"

Iruka froze momentarily and he felt his heart missed a skip. Then he regained his composure and stared at the paper before him, unable to meet Kakashi's gaze. "I don't think there's anything that we have in common to talk about."

"Iruka – "

"Don't you have a mission, Kakashi-sensei?" Iruka stacked the assignments and stood up. "You should go. And I too have work to do."

Iruka gathered up his things and left the classroom while Kakashi could only bring himself to stare after the departing chunin longingly. When the door closed behind Iruka, the jounin turned away and closed his eyes, trying to get some sense of rationality into him to stop himself from breaking there and then. He still had a mission to go on after all.

After a few agonizing moments, Kakashi finally steeled himself and left through the classroom window.

=-=-=-=

Iruka leaned against the wall outside the classroom, his heart thumping hard against his chest. He clutched the papers against him tightly as he felt the jounin's presence leave the room. He remained still in his spot for a very long while, unable to believe that Kakashi had actually looked him up.

What could the jounin possibly want from him? He did not dare to hope. Not after he had his heart crushed by Kakashi so many times over.

Kakashi could never give him what he wants. Iruka had accepted that fact when the months following the break-up, Kakashi had treated him nothing more than a passing acquaintance. It had hurt and it still hurts. That is why, Iruka knew better than to hope that the jounin would be there to salvage whatever was left. Because if he allowed himself to believe, if he allowed himself to listen to what Kakashi had to say, he knew he would be trapped in that web of lies again. And after Kakashi got tired of him and left him on his own again, he would be shattered completely and there would be no more moving on.

Iruka took in a deep breath to calm his shaking self.

It wasn't fair. He was only beginning to try to move on and Kakashi just had to appear and send his emotions into another rampage moment. He felt the tears rimming in the corner of his eyes, but he stubbornly refused to let them fall. He closed his eyes and took in another deep breath to calm his nerves. After a few moments, he opened them again, with new found resolution clear in the brown orbs.

He would not let the older man manipulate him any longer with his words. It's over between him and the copy nin. Had been since months ago. If Kakashi wants to talk, then Iruka would need to prepare for his counter. And whatever the jounin says, he will not allow himself to be swayed. And Iruka was confident that he will not be affected by the copy nin this time.

Because, all he has to do is to remind himself that whatever Kakashi says, will always be a lie.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi returned to the village one month later with his team, having failed to locate Sasuke. Itachi was dead though, and that was one threat lesser to the village. He trudged tiredly back to his apartment after having reported to Tsunade the mission details and declined Sakura's suggestion for him to have his wounds checked at the hospital. An injured arm wasn't going to kill him anyway.

He found himself thinking of Iruka, and how the chunin had treated him before he had left on that mission. Nonetheless, he was still determined to talk to the younger man; to try to win him back and mend the hurts that he had caused.

He closed the door of his apartment behind him and headed towards the bathroom where he redressed his previously hastily dressed-up wound. He downed a few pills to help in recovering his strength and headed over to his bed where he lay down and stared blankly out of the window and into the night sky.

He would talk to Iruka tomorrow. After the chunin's shift in the mission room. And this time, he will not make any more empty promises.

=-=-=-=

A knock on the door rouse Kakashi from his slumber. He groaned and turned in his bed, shielding off the piercing sunlight with his arm.

The knock sounded again and the jounin sat up in his bed, quickly noting that it was close to noon. He sighed. The mission must have taken him out more than he had expected. He stretched out his muscles slightly before pulling on his mask and headed to the door.

A messenger bowed politely the moment the door opened.

"Hatake-sama, here is a message from Godaime-sama."

Kakashi stared at the scroll held out to him before he shrugged and accepted it with a murmured thanks. The messenger bowed again and turned away. Kakashi closed the door and walked over to his couch even as he unrolled the parchment and began to read its contents.

He had barely reached the couch when his hands went slacked and the scroll slipped from his fingers and onto the floor below. He stood at his spot, stiff and numbed. His single eye gazed blankly into nothingness, as his mind registered only one thing – the message he had read less than a minute ago.

'_This can't be. Jiraiya-sama…"_

=-=-=-=

Iruka sat at his desk in the mission room and tapped his pen absently against the paper before him. He frowned deeply, recalling his meeting with Naruto earlier on the streets.

The genin had seemed distracted, and probably even distressed. And what convinced Iruka even more that the teen was deeply troubled was that he had turned down an invitation to have ramen together. Iruka was more concerned than disappointed when Naruto had trudged dejectedly down the streets, a shadow of his former exuberant self.

He sighed and shifted through his papers. He had only another half an hour to go before his shift ends and perhaps he could find out from Sakura later what had happened that had put Naruto down so much.

A shadow fell across his desk and Iruka glanced up, ready to accept the mission report from a random shinobi. But he froze instantly when he realized who it was.

The single grey eye that met his had the same troubled look he had seen in Naruto earlier. But he pushed that observation to the back of his mind as he got ready to tell Kakashi to leave him alone. He wasn't ready for the confrontation yet.

But before he could even utter a word, the jounin had spoken.

"I need to talk to you in private, Iruka." Kakashi hesitated for a moment before he continued. "It's about Naruto."

Iruka was ready to protest. But he managed to stop short when the blonde was brought up. He eyed Kakashi suspiciously for a moment before concern for Naruto took over and he nodded, stepping away from his seat.

They walked out of the mission room and turned the corner where there was lesser traffic. And it was then that Iruka noticed that the jounin was tensed and shaking slightly. At the sight of the distressed jounin, worry overrode his reservations and he placed a hesitant hand on the broad shoulder. He had never seen Kakashi like this before.

"Are you alright?"

Kakashi took in a deep breath and nodded silently. He watched Iruka for a minute before he spoke shakily.

"Jiraiya-sama is dead."

Time stood still for the chunin as he froze in his spot. Questions invaded his mind as he tried to comprehend what he had just been told. He tried to speak, but his voice lodged in his throat and he could hardly get a word out.

This wasn't real, was it?

=-=-=-=

For the next few days, Iruka spent time with Naruto whenever he could, offering his silent comfort as the youth struggled to cope with the loss of his mentor. He met Kakashi a few times while accompanying Naruto, though neither exchanged many words other than polite greetings.

It was disheartening to see Naruto being quiet and moping, barely even going out and locking himself in his apartment for days to end. Iruka was worried. Several of the teen's peers had been to visit him, trying to get him to regain some of his cheerfulness; Kakashi and Sakura had both tried to get Naruto out of his room, on the pretext of going for ramen; even Sai had put in some effort to bring back the old Naruto. But all their efforts were met with no results.

And it wasn't until Shikamaru made his visit, dragged the blonde out with him and muttered some words of advice – which somehow struck a chord in the teen – that Naruto finally snapped from his self-pity and started thinking about solving the mystery Jiraiya had left behind and to avenge the Sannin.

The code was cracked two days later. Shikamaru and Naruto managed to decipher the hidden message with the help of Kakashi. But even then, they were left befuddled over the meaning of the note.

Naruto left the village shortly after for Myobokuzan to train in the Sage Arts, leaving Shikamaru to figure out the meaning of the message. Following the blonde's departure, Iruka also ceased meeting the silver-haired jounin, to which, he was almost grateful. But what he did not expect was for Kakashi to look him up again and proposed something which managed to shake his firm resolution.

He had arranged with Inaho to have dinner that night, having felt guilty for turning down the kunoichi for the past week in order to spend time with Naruto. He had just stepped out into the streets when from the shadows, a figure stepped right into his path.

He faltered for a moment and then tensed up when his gaze met a single grey eye.

"Iruka."

The chunin turned away. "I'm in a rush, Kakashi-sensei. If you would excuse me."

"I just want to talk. Please, Iruka. Just for a while."

"I'm afraid I don't have the time. My date is waiting for me."

Iruka could sense the tension in the other man. Kakashi stared at him for a moment before he spoke disbelievingly.

"Date?"

The younger man took in a deep breath and turned to meet the jounin's eye defiantly. "Yes. And it's not polite to keep her waiting. I have to go."

He tried to push past the older man, but Kakashi's hand shot out and held on to his arm, impeding his departure.

"Is it no longer possible between us?" The jounin asked in a voice, barely above a whisper.

Iruka closed his eyes. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Iruka, please. I've never meant for it to turn out this way." Kakashi shifted and stood in front of the chunin, trying to get his words through to the younger man. "I promise I'm ready this time."

Iruka felt his wounds being torn open at Kakashi's supposed assurance. He jerked his arm out of the jounin's grip and glared at him. "Enough of your games, Hatake-sama. I'm not interested to play on any longer."

"This was never a game to me." Kakashi swallowed past the lump in his throat. This situation was beginning to look like a futile attempt on his part to salvage what was left. "I really do love you."

Iruka let out a bitter laugh. "Leave your beautiful lies for someone else. I won't be taken in anymore."

"I meant every single word I've ever said, Iruka." Kakashi casted his gaze to the ground with a regretful look. "I'm sorry I hurt you. But I've never lied to you."

"Never?" Iruka shook his head bitterly. "If what you said weren't lies, then why did you deny me again and again? Why the hell do I feel so betrayed when you tell others that there will never be anything between us?"

Kakashi was silent. Iruka swallowed hard as he spoke hoarsely. "During the time we've spent together; every single day and night, I found myself wondering just what I am to you, thinking about when you will fulfill those promises to me. Do you have any idea how that felt?" He glanced up at the jounin who was looking away guiltily. "But I hung on to every of your words, believing that you will not let me down. I waited and waited, listening to your promises over and over and what did I get? You denied me in front of everyone."

Iruka took in a deep breath and continued. "I chose to ignore that, wanting to believe you said what you said because you weren't ready to let the others know about us. But you avoided me for a whole week after that. And then I see you around, conversing so happily with the others, but the moment you saw me, you turned your back on me. You will never understand the pain that I had to go through then."

Kakashi clenched his fists. "I'm sorry, Iruka. I will make it up to you, if you will let me."

"Impossible." Iruka said quietly "It's over, Kakashi. It's been over for months." He willed the threatening tears away as he stepped away from the copy nin. "If your idea of love is hiding from public's eyes and keeping the relationship a secret, then pardon me for not being able to understand. But, I'm tired of being left alone. I can't do this anymore."

"No more hiding, Iruka. I promise." Kakashi grasped onto the younger man's arms. "I want to make up for those hurt. Just give me a chance to make amends. You don't have to give me your answer now. But please, think over it."

Iruka glanced up and his eyes softened at the hidden anguish in the older man's eye. He was about to speak when a shrill voice cut in.

"Iruka, are you ready to go?"

The chunin instantly snapped back to his senses and pushed Kakashi away. He looked past the jounin's shoulder to regard the speaker.

"Ah, Inaho-san. Yes, just give me a minute. I'm coming."

Kakashi stared at the kunoichi who was smiling brilliantly at the academy teacher and Iruka returning with one of his own and he felt a stab and a twist in his heart. He was so wrapped up in his own pain that he failed to see how strained Iruka's smile actually was.

The chunin watched him contemplatively for a minute more before he started to walk away. "I have to go."

"She's your date?"

Iruka paused in his steps and was silent for a while. Then he answered. "Yes."

Kakashi felt his own resolution crumbling and it was through sheer will power that he managed to keep himself on his own two feet. The chunin brushed past him and he closed his eye, feeling the waves of pain washing over him. The question which he had tried not to voice out, slipped from his tongue on its own accord.

"Am I too late?"

Iruka took in a deep breath and casted a glance at the jounin. Taking in a shaky breath, he steeled himself for the next statement, even as what he said was slowly shattering his heart into tiny pieces. "My love for you is of the past. I do not love you anymore, Kakashi. So, there shouldn't be any more talk about starting over. I've moved on. So should you."

Kakashi could only watch on helplessly as Iruka joined up with the kunoichi and the two walked down the streets, exchanging conversation easily. He wanted to call out to the younger man; to ask him to stay. But somehow, his voice just wouldn't get past his constricted throat.

He was numbed with pain and he felt the last of his emotion closing off, knowing they will probably never resurface again. He had no idea how he got home that night, but then, when he finally managed to gather back some of his senses, he was closing the door of his apartment behind him.

He leaned against the wood, finally feeling his energy draining from him. Sliding down the door tiredly, he sat down on the floor and stared blankly into space as he felt the void in him growing bigger. He slid off his forehead protector and let it drop to the ground from his nerveless fingers.

Something wet trickled from his sharingan eye, but Kakashi couldn't bring himself to care. He let out a self-loathing laugh at his gullibility in believing what Genma had said and allowing himself to hope that he would still have had a chance to salvage all these; that they will still have a chance to start again. It was apparent that Iruka had forgotten their past, what they used to share; and had moved on with someone else.

'_I do not love you anymore.'_

That statement was like a knife to his heart; the final nail to his coffin of hope. It was officially over. And it was because of the stupid mistakes he had made. He let out a bitter smile. It seemed he will never be able to do anything right in his whole life.

Kakashi buried his face between his drawn-up knees, not wanting to think about this anymore. But one sentence kept repeating itself in his mind, taunting him and mocking his helplessness.

'_I'm too late.'_

=-=-=-=

* * *

_To Melissa: Well, I don't know if Iruka is bi in the actual anime / manga series. But in the stories I write, no matter if he's bi or not, there will only be one partner he will choose and that is Kakashi. (And I hope Kishimoto-sensei shares my sentiments too. But well, too much to hope.) And yes, Genma does realize his mistakes. He's not as insensitive as we think after all. ^_^_

* * *


	8. Chapter 8: Making the Decision

**A/N: And here goes, the next chapter. ^_^ Work's catching up with me, but I will try to have the next chapter up in the next few days. Thanks to all you darlings who reviewed. Those comments certainly made my day. Well, enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 8: Making the Decision

"Thank you for walking me home, Iruka." Inaho smiled as a light blush tinted her cheeks. "I've enjoyed myself tonight."

"That's good." Iruka smiled. "Well, I guess you better go on ahead. Good night, Inaho-san."

"Um, Iruka?" The kunoichi called out hesitantly just as the chunin turned to go.

Iruka glanced over his shoulder to regard the lady with a raised eyebrow. Inaho shifted nervously and gave him a small smile. "Well, um, I just thought that you looked pretty distracted tonight. Did you not enjoy yourself?"

The chunin blinked. And then, he sighed, remembering the reason why he had been so unfocused that night. He shook his head to clear it and gave the girl a reassuring smile. "No, I did enjoy myself. I guess I'm just tired, that's all."

"Ah…" The kunoichi brightened up slightly. "That's good then. Um, Iruka, I have a question to ask you, if you don't mind."

The brunette turned around and gave her his full attention. "Sure. What about?"

"Well…" Inaho turned her head to the side, not wanting to meet the chunin's gaze as a blush tinted her cheeks. "What do you think of me, Iruka? I mean, we've been spending so much time together, I would like to know your views."

Iruka stared at her for a moment. Then he scratched the side of his head. "Well, you are a nice person, Inaho-san. You are always full of life and cares about the people around you. It's nice having a friend like you, I supposed."

The girl brightened up. "Really? You really think so?"

"Yes." Iruka stared at her amusedly. "And why would you be asking me that?"

"Well," Inaho swallowed hard. "We've been spending time together for a while, Iruka. And I," she looked away. "Really like you a lot."

Iruka's eyes widened. Before he could utter a word, Inaho had turned to him with hopeful eyes. "We've been friends for a while. But I would really love to take this further between us."

"I…" The chunin was at a loss for words.

"You don't have to answer me now." Inaho laughed nervously and scratched her head. "But I think I just have to let you know. Please think about it." She bowed hastily to the chunin. "Good night, Iruka."

The teacher watched in stunned silence as the girl made her way up the stairs quickly. After a few moments, he turned on his heels and made his way home.

=-=-=-=

Iruka lay in his bed, unable to sleep that night, his mind reeling with the events from that night.

It was probably unfair to Inaho. But the proposition which the kunoichi had brought up was far from his mind. In fact, the only thing that was going round in his head was what Kakashi had said. He turned over to his side and smoothed out the empty space beside him, remembering the last time it had been occupied.

'_Kakashi.'_

A tear trickled down the side of his face and he swiped it away. He sat up in his bed and sighed deeply, staring blankly out of the window.

He hadn't meant to push Kakashi away like this. Even now, as he thought about what he had said to the jounin, he could still feel the stab of pain in his heart over that blatant lie. But it had to be done. He didn't want to risk trusting Kakashi again and be hurt another time.

Kakashi had said this wasn't a game. He had confessed to still be in love with the younger man and even more so, he had finally decided to accept the decision to make this an official relationship. He had been so willing to make up for all those lost time and the hurt he had caused the chunin to go through and wanted a chance to start all over again.

The man had been so sincere that Iruka had found himself wanting to believe what Kakashi had to offer and to place his trust in the jounin again. But then, a cold sense of fear had gripped him.

When had Kakashi never managed to sound sincere and convincing when he had uttered those loving words in the silence of the nights? That was how he had managed to lead Iruka on for so long in their supposed relationship. When that thought surfaced itself in his mind and sent the warning signals to him, his only reaction had been to push the jounin away.

He didn't want to live through the agony of pining for an impossible future a second time. Even now, he still couldn't fully get Kakashi out of his mind. Having to have the hope of something that could never come to pass be reignited in him, he didn't think he could survive that.

But the utter look of agony in Kakashi's eye before he had left with Inaho had stirred something in him. He sighed deeply.

He did not want to think about this or the possibilities that could arise if he gives the jounin another chance. But, what if Kakashi had been honest? Could he allow himself to accept the jounin again? Would it hurt, to give this another shot?

The thoughts spiraled in his head, and he wasn't sure where his line of thinking was heading towards. And it wasn't until a few hours before dawn, that he finally fell into a fitful sleep with full of doubts that remained unanswered.

=-=-=-=

"You look terrible, Iruka." Izumo frowned as he set down a cup of coffee in front of the brunette.

The chunin glanced up at his friend with tired eyes and shrugged, gratefully reaching for the cup of caffeine.

"What's wrong?" Izumo settled down in the chair in front of Iruka's desk in the mission room.

"Nothing really." Iruka mumbled as he took a sip of the hot liquid. "I guess the kids were pretty restless this morning and I got drained just trying to get them to settle down."

The long-haired chunin was unconvinced. He sighed and folded his arms on the table as he nestled his chin between them. He fiddled absently with a pen as he watched his friend silently.

Iruka busied himself with the mission reports that were waiting to be read and filed. But Izumo could clearly see the lack of concentration and the way the other chunin was taking twice the time to complete the same task as he would do normally.

Izumo placed a hand on the top of Iruka's as the teacher reached for yet another. He narrowed his eyes as the tanned chunin stared at him bemusedly.

"We are friends, Iruka. I don't like it when you keep things to yourself and kill yourself with it. Something is clearly troubling you. Now tell me what it is that is bothering you. Two heads are better than one. I could help you to find a solution." Izumo peered at his friend worriedly. "If it's confidential, then at least tell me what you can. You will feel better after you let out some of those worries."

Iruka was silent for a minute as he thought about what the other man had said. Izumo had a point. Thinking about it for the last three days hadn't done him any good thus far. Perhaps, the other chunin could offer some sort of advice to direct his train of thoughts. Besides, it's not like he had to let Izumo in on too much details.

He sighed and rubbed his temples in mild frustration. Glancing up, he gave a wry smile. "This is really not the place to talk about it, Izumo."

Izumo stood and nodded; a satisfied smile on his face. "Tonight then. I will bring take-outs to your place. We can talk over dinner."

=-=-=-=

"How was your last mission?"

Kakashi shrugged non-committally as he took a sip from his cup. "Fine. Nothing special anyway. Just an assassination job."

Genma nodded quietly as a stretch of silence fell between the two. Finally, the honey-haired man glanced at his friend, speaking in a more subdued tone.

"So, I haven't really got a chance to ask you this. How's it going between you and Iruka?"

Kakashi flinched lightly as his grip on the cup tightened. Genma frowned. "Have you even talked to him?"

The jounin swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in his throat. "Yes."

"And how did it go?" Genma smiled lightly, eager to hear the details.

Kakashi sighed. "Stop asking, Genma."

The smile faded. The honey-haired jounin chewed on his senbon nervously, sensing his friend's distress. "Uh, it didn't go well?"

Kakashi was silent. But the other man could clearly see the tension in the broad shoulders. He took his senbon from between his lips and twirled it between his fingers. "What happened?"

"It's over." Kakashi muttered. "I don't want to talk about it. So just leave it, Genma."

"I could talk to him –"

"No!" The silver-haired jounin glared at his friend. "Leave it. He has moved on. I have no right to stop that."

"Then what about you?" Genma asked quietly as he eyed the other man.

"I will move on too." Kakashi looked away. "There's nothing more for me to hang on to. I will be able to go back to how I used to work."

"Kakashi, I –"

"Stop harping on it, Genma." Kakashi reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a small package. "I asked you out today to do me a favor."

Genma sighed and nodded. "Sure."

"Help me to hand this back to Iruka." The copy nin said quietly as he shoved the package across the table.

Genma stared at it silently for a minute, not making any move to take it. "You can still try again to salvage this."

"I know when I should give up, Genma. And I know I should wish him for the happiness he found." Kakashi stood up. "Anyway, I've got to leave for my next mission. I will leave this to you." The jounin nodded towards the package on the table. Genma sighed.

"I will hand it to him."

"Thank you." Kakashi turned and strode out of the teahouse. Genma stared after the man, a sense of guilt whelming up in him.

=-=-=-=

Iruka picked up his bag and bade farewell to his colleagues. He stepped out of the mission room and headed down the corridor, towards the exit.

He wasn't expecting to find Genma leaning against the wall as he turned the corner and he was even more surprised when the jounin stepped in front of him, blocking his path.

"Genma-san?" Iruka frowned, wondering what the other man wanted.

"I have something for you." Genma said quietly as he reached into his pocket and pulled out something. He held the white package between his fingers and handed it to Iruka. "Kakashi wanted me to return this to you."

Iruka froze for a moment as he took the pack with shaking fingers. He glanced at the other man. "What is this?"

Genma shrugged. He remained in his spot for a moment more before he finally sighed deeply.

"I shouldn't be saying this. In fact, Kakashi didn't even want me to interfere." The jounin smiled wryly. "But still, I think it will be pretty unfair for him if you do not know this."

"Genma-san –"

"I was ignorant the last time to make such callous remarks. But I never meant any harm to the two of you." Genma looked away. "If it hadn't been for Asuma, I probably would have never known about your relationship." He sighed. "I know he still loves you and as a friend, it pains me to see him going back to his old apathetic self and believing that he has nothing more to come home to."

Iruka looked away. "And what has that got to do with me?"

Genma shook his head in dry humor. He glanced at the chunin with a solemn expression that betrayed nothing except for a tinge of sadness and a hint of guilt.

"He had realized his own mistakes and all he wanted was a chance to make up for what wrongs he had committed. He had been so willing to just do anything to salvage this when he first made the decision to look you up." The jounin rolled the senbon between his lips and glanced at the younger man. "But when I saw him earlier, he had completely given up. I don't know what happened or what had been said between the two of you. But, I have never seen Kakashi so resigned before. Whatever it is that you had said, it had affected him greatly."

"And is this somehow my fault?" Anger flared as Iruka glared at the older man. "Do you even understand this entire situation? Do you have any idea, how painful it was to never know where this entire relationship was heading or when it would come to an abrupt end?" He swallowed hard and looked away, trying to not let what Genma had said affect him.

"I'm not saying this is your fault, Iruka. In fact, I believe it's his fault for not knowing how to treasure you when you had been with him. And probably, I'm at fault too for saying things I shouldn't have." Genma shoved his hands into his pocket and sighed, giving the younger man a small smile. "What I meant is that I've never seen Kakashi so devoted to anyone before. We've been friends for years, but you are the first person after Yondaime that I've seen, who's able to invoke real emotions in him. And just based on that, I can see how much you mean to him."

Iruka was silent as he stared at his feet. Genma shrugged and took a step back.

"Well, I guess there's no point in saying these anymore. Whatever it is, Iruka, Kakashi just wants you to be happy. He wishes you true happiness with your new partner and I'm hoping too, that this time, you have found someone who's truly worth your affections." The jounin smiled. "Sorry to have taken up so much of your time. I should get going. See you around."

The chunin glanced up as Genma retreated from the corridor. When the honey-haired man had finally disappeared from sight, he stared at the package he held tightly in his hand. Slowly opening it, he emptied its contents onto his palm.

His eyes softened as tears welled up in them. Clutching the amulet in his hand, he lifted it before his face, inhaling the scent that was distinctly Kakashi. It was evident from the strong smell that still lingered that Kakashi had been carrying it around; even long after they had broke up. Had Genma been right? Did he really mean that much to the copy nin?

He stood in the corridor silently, not making any attempt to move away; his only focus being the item lying on his palm. Finally, after a long moment, he tucked the amulet carefully into a secured compartment in his vest. He adjusted the bag on his shoulder as he made his way out of the building; his heart heavy and his mind full of contradicting thoughts.

=-=-=-=

Iruka prodded disinterestedly at his food. "Izumo."

The other chunin glanced up, his mouth full of rice and chicken. "Hm?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

Izumo swallowed his food and stared at his friend uncertainly. "Sure."

"I'm just making a hypothetical conjecture." Iruka glanced at his friend. "If someone, who has hurt you emotionally before comes back apologizing and wanting to make amends. Will you forgive that person?"

Izumo blinked a few times as he tried to comprehend the question. Then he scratched his head and shrugged. "That depends on what he or she had done. There aren't many things in this world that can't be forgiven anyway. So as long as that person is sincere, I believe I will."

"Oh?" Iruka stared at his untouched bowl of rice. "But what if that person had hurt you so deeply and never once fulfilled a single promise he had made? Will you still be able to bring yourself to trust that person and believe what he is saying is the truth?"

Izumo eyed his friend with concern. "Are you talking about this from the point of a relationship, Iruka?"

Iruka shrugged. "Maybe."

"Don't _'maybe'_ me, Iruka." Izumo frowned. "Is this about…" His eyes widened and he gasped. "Inaho-san? You are having problems with her? Why didn't I know that the two of you have developed to such a stage?"

"No!" Iruka rubbed his temples in frustration. He sighed. "No, it's not her. In fact, I've never thought about going that far with her. She's just a friend."

"Ah…" Izumo nodded as he tapped his chopsticks against his chin. He glanced at his friend suspiciously. "Are you really sure? You are telling me the truth right?"

Iruka stared at his friend passively. "Do I have any reason to lie to you about this?"

"Who knows?" Izumo shrugged. "So, who is it?"

"I'm just making a hypothesis, Izumo."

"I don't think so." Izumo set his chopsticks down and crossed his arms. "Something tells me that this has got to do with the thing that had been troubling for the last few days and what you have promised to tell me tonight."

"I…" Iruka wanted to protest, but then decided against it. He had never really been able to hide anything from his friend anyway. Other than his previous relationship with Kakashi, that is. He sighed. "Well, yes."

Izumo turned serious. "Well, I'm all ears. Just say what you want to."

Iruka stared blankly at a spot on his table for a few moments, wondering if he should bring Kakashi into this topic, wondering if bringing up the jounin would mean betraying his trust.

But Kakashi had said he wanted to bring their relationship out into the open anyway. He glanced at his friend as he made a silent decision; one that would decide if his former lover was truly sincere about what he had proposed.

"It's Kakashi." He finally muttered.

Izumo stared at him confusedly. "Huh?"

"The person I'm talking about is Kakashi." Iruka fiddled absently with his cutleries. "We had been in a relationship before. About half a year ago."

Izumo was unable to speak for a full minute after that. Of all the people he had expected his friend to be in a relationship with, the copy nin hadn't even been on the list.

"Ka… Kakashi?" Izumo finally managed to utter. "As in Hatake Kakashi, the copy nin?"

"Do you know any other Kakashi?" Iruka asked tiredly.

"No, but…" Izumo frowned, his brows furrowed together in deep concentration. "That's a surprise. I never would have thought he's someone who would get involved in affairs of the heart." He glared at his friend accusingly. "And you didn't even tell me about it."

"That was the reason why we broke up." Iruka stared out of his window absently.

"Huh? You mean you two broke up because he didn't allow you to tell me?"

"No, not only you." Iruka said quietly. "No one knew about our relationship at all." He gave Izumo a sad smile. "It was a secret affair for a total period of six months and twenty-three days."

"Ah…" Izumo nodded in understanding. "And you broke up with him because you couldn't take it anymore."

Iruka nodded, not wanting to go into details about the hurt he had to go through during that period. Talking about it was like tearing open wounds that were just beginning to heal.

"And?" Izumo probed gently.

"He came to me a few days back." The tanned chunin swallowed hard as he felt the tears gathered in his eyes. "He wanted another chance to start over. I turned him down."

"You don't love him anymore?" Izumo asked gently, not wanting to push the other man.

Iruka felt a stab in his heart as he was reminded of what he had said to Kakashi. Biting back a sob, he shook his head. "I still do." He took in a deep shuddering breath. "But I don't know if I could trust him again. Throughout our half a year relationship, he had always been promising me that he will make our relationship official, that he will let others know about us. But nothing had ever come to pass." He closed his eyes. "I don't know if I can bring myself to believe what he is promising this time."

Izumo moved from his side of the table to sit beside his friend. He laid a comforting hand on the other chunin's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"What did he say?"

"He said he was sorry and that he wanted to make amends; to make our relationship public." Iruka smiled sadly. "I wanted to believe him then, but still, I pushed him away. I guess I was just scared." He admitted quietly.

"I understand how you feel, Iruka." Izumo sighed. "It hadn't been easy for you to have to put up with so much for so long. You may think I'm not making sense. But I think there was no need for you to doubt Kakashi-san's words at all. He wouldn't have said what he said if he wasn't sincere."

Iruka turned to look at his friend. Izumo made himself comfortable as he spoke wistfully. "Asuma-san always talked about Kakashi-san during the time we worked together. And one thing about Kakashi-san that I remembered him saying is that Kakashi-san will never make a move if he wasn't sure where it will lead to. He would always plan steps ahead before he launched himself into action. Of course, that time when Asuma-san said that, he was probably referring to Kakashi-san in battle. But I believe such traits will be brought over in everyday life too. If he wasn't sure of the future that he wanted for the both of you, he wouldn't have come to you."

"And Iruka, consider this. Kakashi-san is one of the top jounin in this village. In a sense, he's our superior and probably commands more power than the average jounin. But he put down his pride, his rank and his reputation and looked you up, wanting to start all over again with you and saying he will make the relationship official. Do you know what that means?"

Iruka turned away. Izumo smiled softly. "It means that he was prepared for people to talk. And not to mention the fact that both of you are guys. That's going to invite even more gossips. And it won't solely be on you. Because of his reputation, Kakashi-san is probably going to be facing more of those gossips than you would."

"But he lied to me the last time." Iruka felt his resolve wavering. "How can I be sure that he's not lying this time?"

"And this is the time when you listen to your heart more than your head, Iruka." Izumo drew up his knees and rested his chin on them. "What is your heart telling you?"

"I…" Iruka casted his gaze to the floor, already knowing the answer that lies in his heart.

"If he is sincere about this, I believe he does deserve another chance." Izumo smiled. "And probably, let him understand too that he should treasure you more, because that is going to be the last chance he will ever get."

Iruka was silent for a while. But he felt the weight of his troubles lifting a little with Izumo's reassurance. He contemplated for a moment before he nodded slowly.

Izumo's smile widened. "So, got your answer?"

"Yes, I guess." Iruka smiled gratefully. "I supposed I had the answer all along. I was just afraid to where it will lead me to."

"Life is all about taking risks, Iruka. Would you rather not take that step forward in order to keep yourself safe and never finding out what could have been between the two of you or would you rather risk it one more time and place your trust in him again, and hopefully, find the happiness that you deserved?"

Iruka's smile was brilliant. "Thank you, Izumo."

"What are friends for?" The other chunin winked. "Come on, let's eat. The food's getting cold."

Iruka nodded as Izumo scrambled back to his seat. He took small bites of his food, finding it easier to swallow this time.

He still had some things that he needed to think it through. And after he had cleared his head and prepared himself for a new start, he would look Kakashi up.

'_I have always been the one to give you time and wait for you, Kakashi. So, just for this one time, please wait for me.'_

=-=-=-=

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_To storybookpuppy: Yes, it will be a happy ending for them. So, no worries. Glad you enjoyed the story though. ^^_


	9. Chapter 9: Losing the Opportunity

**WARNING: **

**Some spoilers ahead. If you hadn't been catching up with the manga chapters from 420 onwards, you probably might not want to read this. You've been warned! If your fun and anticipation had been spoilt because of this little spoiler, don't come flaming me for it.**

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* * *

A/N: And to all those who are proceeding with the story, thanks for all your kind support! I've managed to get this out in time, I guess. ^_^ So, enjoy!**

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Chapter 9: Losing the Opportunity

Iruka hesitated outside the door. He raised his hand, preparing to knock against the wood, but then drew back his hand again as he ran through his speech in his head one more time.

It had taken him one week to finally have all his thoughts sorted out and prepare himself to face Kakashi. It was awkward, especially after what he had said to the jounin, but he knew he can't keep running away from it. If he doesn't let Kakashi know now how he feels exactly, he may end up hurting both of them badly.

During that entire week, he had avoided Inaho, mainly because he did not want to lead her on more than he already had. And besides, he wanted to sort things out one step at a time. He had been so preoccupied with his problem with Kakashi that he hadn't even thought of a way to turn down the kunoichi, though he knew he would have to face up to her soon and put a stop to this before he hurts her.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Steeling himself, he took in a deep breath and knocked lightly on the door.

There was no response from the other side. Frowning, Iruka lifted his hand, ready to try again as the nervousness began to eat away in him.

"Iruka?" A voice halted him. Turning around in surprise, the chunin stared at the person who had called out to him

"Genma-san."

The honey-haired man smiled as his gaze flitted over to the apartment behind Iruka. He smiled tentatively. "Looking for Kakashi?"

"Um, yes." Iruka turned away. "But he doesn't seem to be in. I think I should make a move."

"He's away on a mission." Genma offered as the teacher walked past him. Iruka halted in his steps and turned to meet Genma's warm eyes.

"He's on a mission." The jounin repeated with a soft smile. "Been away for a few days. The other day when we met, that was the first day he was away. So I guess he should be back anytime soon."

"Oh?" Iruka scratched the scar across his cheeks.

"I will tell him to look for you when he's back." Genma grinned.

"It's alright." Iruka shrugged. "I… It's nothing important. I just wanted to ask about Naruto."

Genma raised an eyebrow as Iruka bowed politely and made his way down the stairs. A smile graced his face as his gaze followed the retreated back.

'_Looks like all is not lost yet, Kakashi.'_

=-=-=-=

Tsunade read the report before her and gave her subordinate a curt nod.

"Thank you for your hard work, Kakashi. I think this should be enough information for us to work on." The Hokage spoke as she scribbled something on a scroll. "I have sent Anko, Yamato and Sai out of the village two days ago to get started on the search based on the information which you have sent back previously. I'm sure, with these additional ones, they will be able to locate Kabuto soon." Tsunade rolled up the scroll and handed it to her assistant.

"Send this message out to Anko's team together with the new information which Kakashi had brought back."

The dark-haired lady nodded and hurried out of the room.

"Well, I guess all we can do now is to wait for them to get back with results." Tsunade sighed as she leaned back in her seat.

"Those three are pretty resourceful. I'm sure this mission wouldn't be a problem for them." Kakashi said.

"I hope so." The blonde rubbed her temples tiredly. "Well, I guess you should go ahead and get some rest. I hope you are not injured though."

"No." Kakashi shrugged. "I will take my leave now, Tsunade-sama."

The Hokage nodded and waved the younger man out of the room. Kakashi bowed slightly before he retreated out of the door.

He closed the door behind him and headed down the quiet corridor towards the exit. Now that the mission was finally over and he had nothing to keep his mind occupied, he couldn't help his thoughts drifting back to Iruka and it brought back the dull throbbing pain in his heart.

He had told himself that he would not think of Iruka anymore; that it was over between them. Iruka had said so himself and the chunin didn't seem to even want to consider giving this relationship another chance. And he couldn't blame the younger man either. He had been the one who hadn't known to treasure what he had during the time he had possessed it.

But, somehow, he just couldn't get Iruka out of his head. He didn't think he would be able to even if he tried. The chunin had been someone who knew him intimately and understood him and had been the only person after his genin team and his sensei to get close to his heart. He hated to admit it, but he had grown too used to Iruka's presence and even after they have broken up, just seeing the younger man from a distance had soothed his soul, especially after hard missions.

He cursed himself for not having anticipated that Iruka would find someone else to move on with and he would have to cease such unhealthy habits. Or perhaps he had known that the day would come, but he just did not want to acknowledge that fact, silently hoping that there would be a day when he and Iruka would get back together.

But now, everything was too late. He sighed and shook his head, not wanting to think anymore. His heart could shatter and empty out every emotion that he had ever had and he wouldn't care. After all, it wouldn't be the first time that he shut himself away from the outside world. He had done that several times and even if this time, it would be harder for him to forget, he would still manage it anyway. Perhaps, going back to ANBU might help. He would have to put some thought into that option.

He stepped out into the glaring sunlight. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he wandered down the streets, heading for his apartment, not even bothering with what was going on around him.

=-=-=-=

Iruka trudged down the streets disappointedly. Kakashi was away on a mission. He hadn't anticipated that. He could only hope that the jounin was alright and that he would get a chance to clear things up.

The guilt was still eating in him. He hoped Kakashi hadn't really thought that he had meant what he said the other night. He still loves the man, undoubtedly, and he badly wanted to set things straight before it's too late.

He headed towards the mission office, knowing it was almost time for his shift. Just as he turned at the corner of the street, he caught sight of a familiar figure from a distance.

Kakashi!

He halted in his steps, hesitating to approach the older man. After a moment of contemplation, he took in a deep breath and garnered every single bit of confidence in himself. With a determined smile, he took a step forward.

A loud explosion went off behind him. Iruka turned around in shock. Around him, civilians and shinobi alike stood in their spot, too stunned to react to the unexpected blast. A sense of silent dread hung in the air, as everyone eyed the few buildings that had just gone down in smithereens.

Iruka's mind reeled with a hundred thoughts. What on earth was going on? Was the village under attack? That kind of impact couldn't have been made by a stray explosion tag. And besides, no one in their right mind would send explosion tags flying around in the village.

His suspicions were proven right when a few seconds later, more explosions went off in the west wing of the village. Debris and dust flew into the air. And then, the whole village snapped into action.

Screams were heard. Shinobi sprinted towards the west wing, ready to face off any enemies who had the audacity to wreck havoc in the Hidden Leaf. Iruka snapped from his shock as he ran towards the area where the first explosion had taken place, ready to help any casualties in the area. He turned back for a last glance at Kakashi. The jounin was gone, most probably to provide assistance wherever needed.

Iruka pushed all thoughts to the back of his mind and focused on the situation at hand. It was apparent the village was under attack. By whom, he would find out later. Right now, he had to get the civilians to safety and the injured to the hospital.

He travelled from the roofs that were still intact as the explosions continued in the other parts of the village. Leaping down amongst the ruins, he began his search for survivors in the piles of debris that covered the once peaceful street of Konoha.

A few shinobi were already in the area, ushering people away from the chaos and towards the shelter in the Hokage's mountain. Iruka was about to move forward to offer his assistance when he heard a groan. Quickly, he scanned his area before he finally noticed an injured shinobi lying amongst the rubble.

He crouched down beside the man and began checking him for broken bones.

"Are you alright?" He glanced at his comrade's pale face.

Another groan was his answer. Iruka shifted the man into a more comfortable position, taking care not to aggravate any injuries. He was about to lift the shinobi when from the corner of his eyes, he spotted a black cloth fluttering lightly in the wind.

Shocked at not having noticed any presence behind him, he spun around and was greeted with a stoic face of an orange-haired man with numerous piercings. The person before him studied him for a moment before he spoke in a cold voice. It wasn't the tone though, but rather, the question that shocked Iruka into stunned silence.

"Where is the nine-tailed beast's host? Spit it out." The man placed a hand into his cloak. "If you don't, I will kill you."

The chunin felt his blood ran cold as he stared, speechless, at the tell-tale black cloak with its signature red clouds that he had heard so often about in meetings and from his friends who had encountered the same group of people who were dressed in similar cloaks before.

'_So that's it. He's Akatsuki.'_

"Tell me." The low voice snapped his attention back. He tensed as his thoughts went back to Naruto and how well he had served the village. He gritted his teeth.

"I will not tell you anything!"

The defiance in his tone shocked even himself. But he remained firm in his stand. The Akatsuki member can do anything to him, but he will never give up any information about Naruto.

The man before him narrowed his eyes and the clipped tone sent shivers down his spine.

"I see."

Iruka barely had time to blink when a blade was drawn from the dark cloak and aimed straight for him.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi knew something wasn't right. If someone had meant to invade the village, why would they continue blasting off the west wing and attracting attention to themselves? Frowning, he turned on his heels and headed towards the place where the first explosion took place – the place where it was probably abandoned by now and would serve as a good hideout for any enemies.

He hid his presence on an intact roof as his single eye scanned the part of the village which was already deserted. The place was mostly deserted and then, he felt a cold shiver running down his spine. He spun around and took a second take at his surroundings and he felt his blood run cold when he saw Iruka crouching beside an injured shinobi and in front of the chunin, was a member of Akatsuki.

Fear gripped him when he realized just who that Akatsuki member was. Judging from reports he had read previously, this was undoubtedly the leader of the group, Pein, or at least it must be one of the bodies that Fukasaku had mentioned.

He didn't even pause to consider. Pushing up his forehead protector, he revealed his sharingan as he sprinted towards Iruka, knowing that he would do everything within his means to keep the man safe.

Pein drew the blade and Kakashi growled under his breath as he pushed chakra into his feet to increase his speed.

=-=-=-=

Iruka knew he had no chance to dodge that close attack. In fact, he could barely even move at the killing intent that the Akatsuki member was radiating. Steeling himself, he waited for the blow, knowing that his only possible regret now was not being able to clear up the air with Kakashi.

But before the blade could even touch him, a gloved hand came in between and grabbed the blade, halting its movement.

"So that was just a distraction, to allow you to search without being noticed." Kakashi's voice held a hint of anger.

Iruka was stunned for a moment as he glanced up at his rescuer.

"Ka… Kakashi!" This definitely wasn't the kind of situation he had wanted to see the man.

"Take that injured man and get out of here." Kakashi kept his focus on Pein, his eyes narrowed with fury. "Leave this to me."

The chunin was startled. Then he regained his composure and began to lift the casualty's arm across his shoulder. "Right." He swallowed hard as he helped the man up. Casting a glance at the jounin, he whispered. "Good luck, Kakashi." _'Please, be safe.'_

Kakashi only spared a glance at the retreating chunin before he turned back to his enemy. But deep down, he was relieved that at least Iruka was kept from the danger. He didn't know how long that would last. But as long as he survived in this invasion, he would make sure that no Akatsuki members would lay their hands on his former lover. That's the least he could do to compensate the younger man.

=-=-=-=

Tsunade knew this was going to be a drawn out battle against Akatsuki. And even more so, she knew that the casualties in this village were on the rise. If Jiraiya wasn't a match against Pein, she doubted any of her shinobi would be. She could only hope that at least, she still had Kakashi to depend on. After all, both she and Jiraiya had placed their faith in the jounin to be the next leader should anything happen to her.

Forming a few quick seals, she summoned Katsuyu. The moment the giant slug appeared, she took in the sight of her summoner and knew that this wasn't going to be any simple task.

"I want you to attach yourself to all the ninjas and everyone else in this village. Take my chakra and heal their wounds." Tsunade commanded.

Katsuyu glanced at the village and turned back to the Hokage. "Looks like the village's in a pinch."

"Just hurry up and do it!"

"Alright." With that said, the giant slug began to split herself into smaller versions and each slug crawled off, in search of the casualties in the village.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi sucked in a painful breath and hissed when his injured lungs protested the act. He knew this was the end. He had used up the last of his chakra reserves to activate his mangekyou to save Choji from a missile that the dying Pein Asura's path had fired at the teen.

His breath was beginning to falter and he knew, soon, he would probably be joining his father, his teacher and his friends – Obito, Rin and probably Asuma. But at least, he had done everything within his means to protect the village and her people. He could only hope that Choji would be able to get to Tsunade in time to let her know about the secret behind Pein's powers.

His visual was gradually dimming out. He gave a sad smile as he thought about the people he had failed all his life. First, it was his father. He had never stood by his father during the tough times, which gradually led to the older Hatake committing seppuku. Then, there had been his genin team and his teacher, neither of the which, he had been able to save or protect. And then, it was team seven – the first genin team he had passed, but eventually, still failed them. And finally, there was Iruka.

Iruka.

Kakashi could still see the warm smiles and feel the gentle touches. They were etched in his mind forever, he knew. If only, he had learnt to treasure the chunin when he still had him. But thinking back now, it probably wasn't too bad. At least he wouldn't be leaving Iruka shattered, which he would otherwise have if they had still been together.

The dark was beginning to consume him and Kakashi knew he would not be able to put up a struggle any longer. Clinging on to the image of Iruka, he gradually allowed the darkness to engulf him. At least, if he had the image of Iruka accompanying him, the path down this dark abyss would not be that lonely.

=-=-=-=

Choji stared in stunned shock at what had once been his beloved village. He was almost thankful that he had been on higher grounds when Pein had turned a major part of the village into a crater. But still, he did not want to think of the injured and the dead that had resulted from the village cave-in.

He swiped the tears from his eyes, determined to find help for his father. Tsunade had said Choza would survive if he could get medical help in time. And hopefully, he would be able to find someone too to heal Kakashi. Tsunade hadn't said anything about the jounin's condition. But Choji refused to believe that the man was dead. Kakashi was a legend. If his father could survive, he was sure the copy nin would too.

Leaping down into the mass of rubbles, he began his search for someone with medical skills.

=-=-=-=

"Thank you, Katsuyu-sama." Iruka smiled when the blue healing chakra receded.

"I would be letting Tsunade-sama down if I let anyone of you get hurt. But still, there's only so much I can do." The slug attached itself to Iruka's jacket as she checked the chunin for any further wounds.

Iruka glanced at his once beloved village, which was nothing more than a big cluster of smithereens now. His home had been crushed and he wondered if Konoha would ever recover from this. Pushing himself to his feet, he stumbled a little as he moved forward to help other comrades in need. It wasn't safe yet. Who knows what Pein would do next in order to attain his goal? He had to help as many as he could while he still had time.

He wondered how Kakashi was. In this mess, it would be tough to find the place where he had last seen the jounin. He could only hope that the man was still safe. He took another step forward, taking care to not stumble over the blocks of concrete.

"Iruka-sensei!"

The chunin turned around in surprise. A smile lit up on his face when he realized who it was.

"Choji!"

The chubby teen wadded through the debris and reached his former teacher. He swiped the tears from his eyes and looked at the man pleadingly.

"Please help me, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka stared at the distressed boy, surprised. He placed a comforting hand on the teen's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

"What happened?"

"I… I need to find a medic-nin." The teen choked on his tears. "My father and I were helping Kakashi-sensei to fight against the enemy. But… But he's critically injured now. I need someone to tend to him." Choji swallowed hard as he tried to keep his tears in. "And… And Kakashi-sensei… He…"

Cold fear gripped him when Choji failed to finish his sentence. Iruka tightened his grasp on the youth's shoulder, as he whispered shakily. "What happened to Kakashi-sensei?"

"I don't know." Choji could no longer hold back the tears. "He saved me from the enemy. I don't really know about his condition, but Hokage-sama didn't seem to optimistic about it." The teen sobbed. "When I dug him out a while ago, I couldn't feel his pulse."

A tight fist closed itself over his chest. Iruka suddenly found it hard to breathe and his knees went weak. He struggled with the last bit of his control. He couldn't fall now. Not now. Kakashi needs him now and he had to make it to the jounin's side.

His voice cracked as he whispered hoarsely to the boy before him.

"Take me to them. I'm sure Katsuyu-sama can do something."

=-=-=-=

Kakashi had no idea where he was as he continued walking in the dark. Then, a distance further ahead, he saw a flicker of light. With a raised eyebrow, he approached the light, which began to take the form of a small campfire as he got nearer.

"That you, Kakashi?"

The jounin startled. He hadn't even realized that there had been a presence by the fire. Looks like his shinobi instincts were gone together with his life.

The voice was achingly familiar though and even if he hadn't heard it in decades, he could still remember who it belonged to.

"So this is where you've been." There was a light smile in his voice as Kakashi sat on one of the platforms by the fire.

The other person by the fire turned to him. "Will you tell me about yourself?"

"Of course." Kakashi said wistfully. "But it will take a pretty long time to tell you everything."

A chuckle. "Yeah sure. Go ahead, Kakashi."

The jounin smiled as he turned to meet the gaze of his companion. "Well dad, let's see. Where should I start from?"

=-=-=-=

Iruka stared, unable to react to the sight before him. He felt wetness against his cheeks, but his mind was too numb to register what that was.

'_No!'_

He did not even realize he had moved, until he had dropped down to the ground next to Kakashi's motionless body and his trembling fingers reaching forward to trace the masked jaw.

'_It can't be.'_

Choji wept silently behind him. He felt as if time had stood still, as everything else became a buzzing dull background; his only focus being the person in front of him.

'_This is a joke, right?'_

His thumb caressed a masked cheek as he leaned forward slightly, not bothering if anyone would actually see his affectionate gestures.

"Kakashi…" His voice cracked. The tears dropped and wet the dark mask. But there was no response from the other man. "Wake up."

'_Don't leave me.'_

There was no opening of the single grey eye. The soft chuckle that the other man made when he wanted to reassure Iruka that he was alright. There wasn't even a twitch of a finger.

"Kakashi…" Iruka leaned forward, the tears flowing freely down his cheeks. "Please…"

'_I love you.'_

There was no answer. Iruka choked out a laugh. "Stop fooling around, Kakashi. This isn't funny." He trailed his fingers across the jounin's brow. "Please, open your eyes and look at me."

'_Don't do this to me.'_

"You wanted to start over again, didn't you? I'm giving you another chance now, Kakashi." Iruka sobbed brokenly. "You said you will make it right this time. D… Don't break your promise to me again."

'_Please, I need you.'_

"Kakashi…" Iruka clutched tightly to the jounin's vest, willing for the man to wake up. The tears flowed uncontrollably and it stained the jounin's vest, forming a wet patch. He hated himself for doubting Kakashi's words, for pushing the jounin away – twice. And now, Kakashi had died, thinking that Iruka no longer loved him. If he could turn back time, if he could go back to the time when they had been together, he would be willing to put up with anything, just to spend a little more time with the older man.

'_I love you, Iruka.' _

'_Please Iruka, give me a little more time.'_

"_Iruka, please. I've never meant for it to turn out this way. I promise I'm ready this time."_

'_I'm sorry I hurt you. But I've never lied to you.'_

'_This was never a game to me. I really do love you.'_

'_Am I too late?'_

Every single word and promise that the jounin had said flashed in his mind and stabbed his heart over and over again. He had rebutted every single of those claims, had trampled on the sincerity of the copy nin and he did not even get a chance to salvage what he had said.

The tortured sobs tore from his throat as the anguish overwhelmed him. "I believe you, Kakashi. I love you. Please come back. We will try this again. Please…" He grasped onto the jounin's blood-stained vest and threw himself over the stiff body as he mumbled against Kakashi's shoulder. "I don't care if we have to keep our relationship a secret. I don't care if the others think if we are not compatible. I don't care about anything. Just please, come back to me… "

Choji stepped forward, unsure of how he should react to his distressed former teacher. He swiped the tears away with the back of his hand and knelt down beside the chunin. "Iruka-sensei…"

Iruka shook his head, torn up with grief. "You wanted us to start all over again. You wanted me to think about it and give you an answer. I'm giving you my answer now, Kakashi. I want you… I want you back. I… I can't go on without you. Please… Come back. Don't leave me alone."

=-=-=-=

* * *


	10. Chapter 10: Awaiting the Return

**A/N: Oh yes, finally this chapter is completed. Well, next chapter will be the last, though I'm still debating whether I should have an epilogue for this. Anyway, thanks for all those reviews! Every single one of those made my day. ^_^ And here's hoping you will enjoy this chapter too. **

* * *

Chapter 10: Awaiting the Return

"And so, that's about it. My genin team." Kakashi smiled fondly. "Naruto has grown so much, I'm sure sensei would be proud of him if he was still alive. And as for Sakura, I have no doubts that she would surpass Tsunade-sama in the next few years. Well, Sasuke…" The jounin's smile faltered a little. "I've failed another Uchiha in my life. But as far as I know, he's doing well."

"It's not your fault, Kakashi." Sakumo stirred the flames with a stick. "People make their own choices. Whatever you do or say, can only affect them to a certain extent. It's what's in their hearts that influences them the most." The older man paused and eyed his son, with wisdom in his eyes.

"You are probably right." Kakashi said quietly. "But, if I had been stronger, they would still have been intact." Pain clouded his eye as his train of thoughts went on to another person. "If I had been stronger, Iruka would still have been with me."

Sakumo raised an eyebrow. "Iruka?"

The younger man jolted back to attention. He stared at his father for a moment before turning back to the fire, a wistful look in his eye. "Ah yes. He's a chunin teacher at the academy, good with kids, patient and full of emotions. And," Kakashi sighed regretfully. "He's the man I love." He whispered softly.

If Sakumo had been surprised by that statement, he did not show it. Instead, he stared at the fire and settled himself more comfortably in his seat.

"Tell me about him, Kakashi."

Kakashi stared at his father for a moment. Then, he turned back to the fire as he spoke, a fond smile on his face.

"Iruka… He's the first person I've ever fallen in love with…"

=-=-=-=

Naruto was back and engaged in a seemingly victorious battle against Pein. Izumo knew the battlefield was no place for him and thus, he began to contribute in whichever way he could.

He and Kotetsu began to wander among the destructed place, trying to help any other shinobi who might be trapped under the thick pile of debris. Then, from a distance, he caught sight of a familiar figure.

"Iruka?"

At the mention of his friend, Kotetsu glanced up anxiously and looked around. "Where is he?"

Izumo did not answer. Instead, his gaze was focused on Iruka as he began to move towards the man. He knew something wasn't right from the way the other chunin was sitting sprawled on the ground, unmoving.

Kotetsu eyed his companion curiously. "Izumo?"

The long-haired chunin continued walking forward without a word. Kotetsu frowned in irritation at being ignored as he followed after his friend. They stopped just a short distance away from the tanned chunin and at that close distance, Izumo could finally see what was going on.

Iruka was sitting next to a motionless body, clutching tightly to a hand and his body was wracking with sobs. The face of the body was hidden from view by the chunin's form, but Izumo did not have to see to guess who the deceased was.

"What happened?" Kotetsu whispered from beside him, surprised to see his usually calm friend in such a distressed state.

"I have a good mind about that." Izumo's eyes softened. "Stay here, Kotetsu."

"Huh?" Kotetsu stared at his friend in puzzlement.

Without offering any forms of explanation, Izumo stalked briskly up to the tanned chunin and crouched down beside him, placing a hand on the man's shoulder.

Iruka did not look to see who it was. He was lost in his own pain, as the tears trickled down his face, while the strands of hair which had came loose from his ponytail clung to his wet cheeks. One of his hands grasped the jounin's lifeless one tightly while the other clutched on to a stained hitai-ate.

"Iruka." Izumo wrapped an arm around the chunin's shoulder, trying to offer him some comfort. "Are you alright?"

More tears flowed from the brown orbs. Iruka choked on his sobs as he shifted away from his friend and sat nearer to Kakashi. He adjusted his position and gently lifted the jounin up, wrapping his arms protectively around the jounin as he pulled the cold body close to him.

"Don't do this, Iruka." Izumo eyed his friend sadly. "He's dead."

"He's not." Iruka whispered hoarsely. "He wouldn't leave me."

Izumo casted a glance at the lifeless body of the jounin and wished that he could agree with the other man. But Izumo knew from the stiffness of the body that Kakashi was long gone. Letting Iruka continue in his delusions wouldn't be healthy. He took in a deep breath and reached forward to clasp a hand over Iruka's.

"Please Iruka, don't do this to yourself. Kakashi-san wouldn't want to see you like this." Izumo shifted closer. "He's dead. Let him go in peace."

"No!" Iruka's voice shook as he wrenched his hand away from the other chunin. "He's not." Iruka brushed the loose strands of hair from his lover's face. "He said he will make it up. He said he wouldn't hide anymore. He said he will make it right this time. He promised. He wouldn't break his promise again. He wouldn't…"

Izumo watched helplessly as the academy teacher broke down. Kotetsu came up beside the two men. Izumo shook his head and the spiky-haired chunin kept silent, crouching down quietly beside him.

"Why?" A harsh sob tore from Iruka's throat. "It's unfair." He wrapped his arms around the jounin tightly, his hands fisting tightly into Kakashi's vest. "I didn't even get to tell him. I didn't even get one chance to tell him what he wants to hear. I let him die in vain…"

"No, Iruka." Izumo shifted beside his friend and pulled the man into a comforting embrace. "I'm sure he knows what you want to say. I'm sure he understands. He won't fault you for anything." He rubbed Iruka's back soothingly, unshed tears brimming in the corner of his eyes. "He loves you. He wouldn't want to see you so torn up over this."

"I love him too, Izumo." Iruka sobbed. "But he will never know. I will never get to tell him that." His breath hitched, as his heart was consumed by the pain. "He tried so hard to salvage our relationship. He just wanted another chance. But I hurt him." He clenched his eyes shut. "I hurt him…"

"He won't blame you, Iruka." Izumo whispered, his arms tightening around his friend. "We all say things in a fit of anger. I'm sure he won't take it to heart. He knows that you do not mean what you said."

Iruka shook his head, as he cried miserably, burying his face in his friend's shoulder. Kotetsu laid a hand on his shoulder, but he did not even notice. All he could think of was Kakashi and his last words to the man. And he knew he would probably carry that guilt till the day he dies.

=-=-=-=

"I was a coward. I kept telling him that I loved him, but I never acted on my words." Kakashi leaned back slightly, staring at the darkness above him. "I never got down to making it official; never let others know about our relationship. I kept on to that midnight relationship for more than half a year, until he couldn't take it anymore."

Sakumo eyed his son sympathetically. He sighed deeply and motioned for the younger man to continue.

"He asked me if it was because I was ashamed of our relationship that I never wanted to bring our relationship out in the open. He asked if it was because he was a chunin and that it would tarnish my reputation if the other shinobi found out we are dating. He had so many doubts, so many insecurities and they only kept building up when I ignored him in public, when he saw me talking and joking with the other shinobi, but never with him. And I never once did anything to allay a single of his fears."

Kakashi stared at the flickering fire as he spoke quietly. "Iruka suffered during the course of our relationship. He wasn't asking for much. He just wanted to know what he meant to me. Wanted me to just acknowledge _us_ that little bit more. But I couldn't even give that much to him. And here I am, claiming that I loved him." He let out a bitter laugh as he shook his head regretfully.

"Asuma told me once that we do not get a second chance in life." He whispered. "He was so damn right. By the time I decided I was ready, that I wanted him back in my life, it was too late. He had already moved on." He took in a deep breath to steady his voice. "He had already had someone else. He had forgotten about me and what we had. I was too late."

=-=-=-=

Izumo felt Iruka beginning to calm down. Slowly, he pulled back and wiped the tears from his friend's cheeks. "Come on, Iruka. There's one last thing you can do for Kakashi-san."

"Later, Izumo." Iruka closed his eyes, tightening his grasp around the jounin. "Give me a little more time with him." He opened his eyes and stared at Kakashi's masked face. "I'm sure he can still feel my presence. So if I'm here, he won't feel so lonely travelling by himself."

Izumo was ready to protest, but Kotetsu held him back and shook his head. "Let him grieve, Izumo. If it makes him feel better, leave him be." He turned to the tanned chunin and reached out a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind Iruka's ear. "Twenty minutes, Iruka. That's all the time you get. After that, you have to move on. For your sake and for Kakashi-san's as well."

Iruka did not respond. He did not even look up when his two friends walk away, leaving him to his own grief. He knew Kotetsu meant what he said and after twenty minutes, they would separate him from the jounin, even if they have had to resort to force to accomplish that. He took in a deep breath and pressed a kiss on the pale forehead.

Twenty minutes was all the time he got. And even if Kakashi can no longer hear, he would still make use of this twenty minutes to let the jounin know that he still love him.

=-=-=-=

Sakumo studied his son intently for a moment and sighed deeply. "I don't understand this, Kakashi. You loved him, but yet, why couldn't you let others know about your relationship with him."

The jounin was silent. That had been the question he had asked himself often enough. Ducking his head, he stared at his sandals, his voice soft and hesitant. "Pride and fear, dad, can push people to do the extremes. Sometimes, even to the extent of hurting the ones they love."

"And what do you fear?" The older Hatake shifted closer to his son. "Let it out, Kakashi. Whatever it is that had been bothering you for so long."

There was a momentary tensed silence that hung in the air. Finally, the younger jounin spoke softly. "I didn't want to find out what the others will think about us." He started. "Iruka is so different from all the other shinobi and that is what makes him so attractive. I'm not surprised if so many out there wants him."

He took in a deep breath and shook his head. "I'm not good enough for him. I've failed too many in my life. All my life, I've been making mistakes after mistakes and none of those are salvageable. I didn't want to fail him too. I didn't want others talking about us if they find out and start saying that Iruka deserves someone better than me."

"Do you think he would have been swayed by those gossips?"

Kakashi smiled softly. "No. He's not that kind of person to be influenced by what others say."

"Then why do you still hold back?"

"I don't know. I guess, I wasn't able to get pass my own barrier then. Too many thoughts, too much insecurities. I didn't want others to think badly of him and," He swallowed hard. "I guess I respected my damn privacy and pride too much to have people speculating about our relationship."

"After he left me, I know I will never be able to do it without him." Unshed tears brimmed in the corner of the grey eye. "But, he was already tired of waiting for me. I am still at the same spot, but he was already miles away from me. He was completely out of my reach by the time I decided I wanted him back in my life."

=-=-=-=

"Wait for me, Kakashi. Wherever you are." Iruka whispered as he brushed the jounin's hair lightly to the side. "I may not be able to join you in the very near future. But someday, I will catch up to you. So until then, wait for me. And when I find you, you will keep your promise to me." Tears trickled down the tanned cheeks and landed on the jounin's masked face. "And I promise, I won't leave you again."

He tugged down the dark mask and pressed a kiss on the cold lips. "I love you, Kakashi. Always will. Please remember that. And don't you dare forget about me because I swear if you do, I will let you know what it truly means to face my wrath." He pressed his forehead against the older man's.

"Wait for me. Just this once, please. Don't go on any further without me." Gently, he tugged the mask back in place and laid the body of the jounin on the concrete, as Izumo and Kotetsu walked up to him with Choji behind them.

"Come on, Iruka." Kotetsu offered a hand to help his friend stand. "It's not respectful to leave the body of the dead exposed for so long."

"Yeah. Naruto is combating Pein. There's nothing we can do in that. But, let's at least help to settle whatever we can." Izumo sighed. "I'm sure Naruto would want to see his teacher's body to be laid to peace too."

Iruka casted another glance at his lover and mustered a forced smile. He took Kotetsu's hand and allowed the spiky-haired nin to lead him away. Izumo turned to Choji and patted him on the shoulder.

"I'm leaving Kakashi-san's body to your care. Keep it safe until we come back."

"I will guard it with my life." Choji nodded. Izumo smiled and strode off after his two friends.

=-=-=-=

"We never truly know how to appreciate something until we have lost it forever." Sakumo sighed deeply and patted his son on the shoulder. "You learnt that the hard way."

"Thinking back now, probably what I had done was right." Kakashi muttered. "At least, he has someone else now and he won't be thinking about me. At least I won't be leaving him shattered with my death. I guess I'm glad I never took our relationship this far."

"If everyone thinks the same way as you, son, this world would have perished long ago." Sakumo smiled softly. "Shinobi or not, we all know the risks of loving another person. Someday, we could lose them or they could lose us. We will never be prepared for that kind of separation and when that time comes, it truly hurts to know we will never see our loved ones again."

The older man sighed and smiled at his son. "But why then do we still fall in love and seek companionship from someone else? Because we can never survive alone, Kakashi. Because at the end of the day, no matter what the code of shinobi says, we are still human and we still have emotions running in us."

"And what's the point in all that?" The younger man gazed absently into the fire. "Might as well be alone from the start if you know that you won't be able to bear this kind of separation."

"We never know what lies in the future. That is why, no one ever intended for _everlasting_ when they fall in love, because such a thing will never exist in the world. What they want is just that moment where they are happy with each other, however long it lasts." Sakumo stirred the fire and watched as it burnt brighter. "Our lives are unpredictable. So, while we can, always make the best out of it. It's always better to give it a try while you are still alive than to die and never knowing what could have been."

Kakashi smiled bitterly. "I supposed it's a little too late for such advice."

"I guess." Sakumo shook his head. "But still, I supposed I understand your reservations." He smiled lightly. "There had been too many things to hold you back and you never had anyone to guide you properly." The older man sighed. "You've had your share of troubles too."

"Yeah." He knew his father was trying to comfort him, but he knew better that hurting Iruka could have well been avoided if he set his thoughts in the proper tracks right from the beginning.

There was a momentary pause of silence as each men tried to think of something to say, just to pass the time. Finally, Sakumo turned to look at his son, a sad smile on his face.

"I just would never have thought that the both of us would die so young." The man smiled as Kakashi turned away. "Though, not as young as your mother had been."

The jounin was silent for a minute as he contemplated. This probably wasn't the best time to bring it up. But it might be the only time for him to tell his father the feelings and thoughts he had kept hidden for years, fueling the guilt of having failed his last kin.

His father's death had always been the biggest guilt he had held. He knew if he had never had accused his father of not following the shinobi code, of not doing what he should have done, the man would never had succumbed to the pressure and committed suicide. He had been the final nail that convinced Sakumo that he had nothing more to come home to or to live for.

He glanced up at the older man and smiled softly. "Regardless of the things that had happened, you had tried your best." Sakumo turned to him, surprised.

"I understand now that you broke the rules for all of our sakes." He continued. "And I'm proud of you."

Sakumo's eyes widened in disbelief. After his death, he had waited in this darkness, all for hoping that a day would come when he would meet his son again and that he could make the younger man understand his reasons for doing what he did. And then, he would apologize for leaving Kakashi to fend for himself at a young age and never fulfilling his duty as a father.

The confession from his son was unexpected.

Both men contemplated in their thoughts, leaving the comfortable silence lingering between them. And then, Sakumo smiled.

"Thank you."

A weight lifted itself from Kakashi's chest. He returned the smile and was about to say something when a sudden blinding beam of white light casted itself on him and he felt himself being pulled by an unknown force.

"What –?"

Sakumo stared at him for a moment before a knowing smile found its way to his face.

"Looks like it's not your time yet. You still have things to do, son."

"But dad…"

"And I'm glad I was able to speak with you. Thank you for forgiving me. Now I can move on and I can finally see your mother again."

"Dad…"

"Kakashi, you have to move on too. Don't store the guilt of yesterdays in you anymore. Things happened as they should as a course of nature. Nothing was your fault and I believe you had tried your best in every situation." Sakumo stood from his seat and smiled, knowing he doesn't have much time left with his son. "Truthfully speaking, I never would have thought that you would fall in love with a man. And even now, I still find it hard to believe. But as long as you are happy, that is what truly matters to me."

Kakashi struggled against the force. "I –"

"Get back your happiness. Him rejecting you the first time doesn't mean you have to give up. My son is not the type to give in so easily, is he?" Sakumo smiled. "Feelings do not fade just like that, Kakashi. If he had loved you once, I'm sure that affection is still hidden somewhere. It just takes the right words and actions to bring it out again. And that's up to you to find out how." The older man paused and gave his son an approving nod. "And the next time you visit your mother's grave and mine, bring him along. We want to see the man who has captured our son's heart."

Kakashi felt himself fading out together with the light. In the last fleeting moments, he gave his father a smile.

"Take care, Kakashi. You have your mother's and my blessings to be with Iruka."

As the light began to dim out, Kakashi closed his eyes, feeling himself being dragged into a different dimension. The smile on his face widened.

'_Thank you, dad.'_

The blinding white light completely disappeared. A sudden jolt of reality ran through Kakashi and he opened his eyes. It only took him two seconds to process his surroundings before he sat up in shock.

He was back at the battlefield – the last place where he had battled Pein and fallen.

=-=-=-=

Iruka clutched the stack of white cloth which they had retrieved from one of the shelters in the Hokage's mountain tightly to his chest; the thought of having to bury his lover soon causing an ache in his heart. He trudged forward, the tears staining the cloth and Izumo and Kotetsu walking behind him, exchanging concerned looks.

He did not take notice about his surroundings, but the other two chunin did.

"What in the hell is going on?"

A hand landed on his shoulder and spun him around. Iruka turned dazed, tear-filled eyes towards Izumo.

"Iruka, did you see that?"

The chunin focused his gaze on where his friend was pointing towards.

There was a kunoichi hugging a man, who undoubtedly, had to be her lover. Seeing the affectionate gesture made his heart sank and the tears flowed even more from his eyes.

"I swear that man was dead earlier on." Kotetsu gulped. "I helped her to dig him out."

"Pein is reviving all those he had killed in this battle." Another voice cut in. All three men turned. A slug was facing them, as she perched herself on a slab of concrete.

"Katsuyu-sama, what do you mean?" Izumo frowned in confusion even as Iruka felt his heart beating faster in anticipation as the words sank in.

"Naruto convinced Pein to end this. This is Pein's way of making amends for what he had done. He is reviving all those he had killed from the time he had invaded Konoha."

Izumo gaped. Kotetsu stared, wide-eyed.

"Iruka, did you hear – " Izumo turned around, only to be greeted by an empty spot where his friend had been standing previously. The only thing left on the ground was the pile of white cloth that Iruka had been cradling previously.

"Come on, let's catch up with him." Kotetsu smiled as he took off towards the direction where they had last left Kakashi.

=-=-=-=

The blue glow of healing chakra receded slightly before it flared again on another area. Kakashi winced lightly, feeling a slight pain from his bruised shoulder.

"That will take a while to heal completely. So, it would be best that you don't exert yourself." Katsuyu said as she ended her healing session. "Are there any other injuries on you, Kakashi-sama?"

"No." The jounin stood up as the slug dropped to the ground. "Thank you, Katsuyu-sama."

"I'm so glad you are alright, Kakashi-sensei." Choji swiped at his tears.

Kakashi smiled wistfully. "Yeah. This was unexpected."

=-=-=-=

Iruka stood in his spot, stunned with disbelief. There was Kakashi, standing and talking to Choji, like he hadn't just gone into the jaws of death and back. He clasped a hand over his mouth as a cry of relief escaped his throat.

Kakashi was alive.

He did not even pause to consider. He broke into a run, ignoring the uneven path as he stumbled along; his focus solely on the man before him.

Kakashi turned around, seemingly having heard his footsteps. Iruka smiled as he closed the last distance between him and the older man and flung his arms around the masked neck, burying his face into the jounin's flak jacket. The tears fell, but for the first time, it wasn't from grief.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi was stunned. One minute, he had been talking to the Akimichis and the next, he had his arms full of a sobbing chunin. And it wasn't just anyone. It was the person he had so desperately longed after for months.

He sucked in a deep breath. Of all the scenarios that he had expected would happen at having returned to the world of the living, Iruka in his arms was definitely not one of them. He could barely gather enough of his thoughts back to react to the younger man.

He glanced hesitantly at the younger man sobbing into his clothes as his mind worked around the situation and slowly, he brought his arms up, wrapping them securely around the chunin.

"Iruka…" He whispered as he pulled the man closer, just to convince himself that this was real. He felt the brunette's arms tightening around him and he closed his eye, reveling in the moment of bliss.

Izumo smiled as he clapped a hand on Choji's shoulder. "Come on. Let's leave them. Our service is needed elsewhere."

"Right." Choji grinned, wiping the remnants of the tears off his chubby cheeks. Turning on his heels, he followed his father and the other two chunin, leaving the two lovers to their reunion.

"I thought I lost you for good." Iruka mumbled into Kakashi's shoulder, the sobs making his breath hitched. "I thought I would never see you again. I… I can't bear that."

"It's alright. I'm alright now." The jounin whispered soothingly.

"I missed you." The sobs turned harsher. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to say all those things to you. I can't lose you, Kakashi."

The copy nin smiled softly, his hold on the younger man tightening. If dying in the place of Iruka could draw such words from the man, he was willing to die a few more times. He felt the overwhelmed emotions lodged themselves in his throat as he pressed a masked kiss on the chunin's neck.

"I love you, Iruka." He spoke hoarsely, his voice threatening his emotions. He pulled back slightly and tugged down his mask. He leaned forward and paused, searching Iruka's eyes for any signs of hesitation and giving the younger man a chance to pull away.

Iruka closed the distance and pressed his lips against the jounin's. The moment was soft and chaste, but it was enough to speak of their longing for each other. Kakashi pulled back and brushed his thumb across a tanned cheek, swiping away the tear streaks. He pressed another kiss on Iruka's forehead and smiled.

"I have to go and pick up Naruto. That brat had gone too far again. Katsuyu-sama said he had exhausted all his energy." He eyed the younger man uncertainly. "I will be right back." _'Will you wait for me?'_

The unasked question was clear between them. Kakashi studied the man, quietly steeling himself for any answers that might come.

Iruka smiled and reached into his vest pocket, pulling out the jounin's forehead protector. He leaned forward and secured the leather on the older man, tugging it over the sharingan eye and hiding it from view. He reached into his pocket again and pulled out something else; pressing it firmly into Kakashi's gloved hand. "I will be right here. Come back safely to me."

The copy nin stared at the item in his hand and smiled. The amulet was still in the same perfect condition as it had been when he had returned it to Iruka. He had gotten his answer – Iruka was giving him another chance to start over again. A surge of emotion ran through him and he reached forward, gathering the younger man in his arms, the unshed tears of happiness brimming in the corner of his eye.

"Thank you, Iruka." He closed his eye, feeling Iruka's fingers grasping tightly onto his vest. "Thank you."

=-=-=-=

* * *


	11. Chapter 11: Sealing the Pact

**A/N: I am sorry! This chapter would have been out earlier, but work was piling up in the last week with the never ending meetings, negotiations and what's not. But well, I guessed I still managed to have this out. ^_^ **

**Ah... Thanks to KakashiKrazed, RetickLover, DevilishDeity, Ryu Earth, Serenityofthematrix, Arukas Sato, SemperVenice, kerumica, Heihachi-Katayama, XxxdarkpearlxxX, LeftMeSpeechless, heavensangelQ, Wordsplat, ChibiOokamiGirl, dark1977, WorstCaseScenario, LoretaW, Belladonna-LaMorte, Paradox1313, deviltiger, Gossamerisred, shadowstar-gazn, 24sakura, Fire-Shadow246, tearfularcher, jazzy2may, banspurpleboxers, XxSaKuSaSuXx99, FlyinGShadoW1314, DeathRow609, Balance-The-Moon-And-Stars, Rem10124, Gasanechi, sara, gigi, chida, eve, storybookpuppy and HH for all your constructive comments, critics and encouragements.**

**I hope you had enjoyed this story and here is the last chapter. I have plans for an epilogue, but I don't really have the time to write it now. I guess that would really take a while to get it out. So for now, enjoy this chapter. Thanks again and until the next story. ^_^**

**My final disclaimer: No, I own nothing except probably part of the plot. =.=  
**

* * *

Chapter 11: Sealing the Pact

Iruka leaned back into the strong chest as he felt the muscular arms wound themselves tighter around his waist, holding him securely. It had been a long time since he had reveled in such warmth and he had missed it. He turned his head slightly to observe the man behind him and watched as the single grey eye stared blankly ahead as its owner was lost in his own thoughts. He shifted a little and planted a soft kiss on the masked cheek, catching the attention of his companion.

Kakashi gave him a small smile. But other than that, he spoke no words.

The chunin laid a hand on the gloved one holding him, his eyes soft with understanding. No one had expected that to happen, but it had and Kakashi needed his time to think.

The copy nin had brought Naruto back to the waiting village and Iruka had never a prouder moment in his life when he saw the shinobi and children clamoring around the blonde, praising him, thanking him and cheering his victory. The blonde had finally made his mark to have the entire village acknowledge his presence and his contribution. When his gaze had met the jounin's, the same pride had been reflected in that single grey eye.

But then, their happy moments had ended there.

Tsunade had fallen into a coma after the battle, having exhausted all her chakra in an attempt to protect her people. Not many people at this point knew about it. Kakashi, Yamato, Naruto and Sakura were probably the only ones who knew other than Iruka and Shizune herself. It just wouldn't do to unsettle the people while they are still recovering from the aftermath of the attack.

Iruka entwined his fingers with Kakashi and gave it a light squeeze.

"She will be fine."

"I know." Kakashi leaned back against the tree, watching as the setting sun painted the sky orange. Beautiful; yet it greatly contradicted the current situation that the village was in. He sighed deeply. "I'm more worried about Naruto and Sakura. They had always been close to Tsunade-sama. They might not take it that well."

"They are strong children. You've witnessed it for yourself." Iruka said softly. "And we will be there for them."

"You are right." Kakashi smiled and pressed a kiss on the chunin's neck. "Thank you, Iruka. For giving us a chance to work this out."

The chunin ran his fingers lightly over the gloved hand. "Losing you at that moment, made me realize more than I would otherwise have. When I thought I had lost you forever, whatever that had happened between us previously suddenly seemed so trivial. I would have done anything to get you back then." He entwined his fingers with the older man's. "And I'm glad you came back."

"I won't leave you again." Kakashi rested his chin on the chunin's shoulder. "At least not willingly."

"I know." Iruka turned and smiled at the jounin. "Shall we get back and see how Yamato-san is getting on with getting the temporary quarters up?"

"I'm sure he's managing fine." Kakashi grinned. "Wood style jutsus are his expertise after all. There's nothing we can help in that."

"Then we should at least collect our supplies. I'm not too keen on sleeping in the cold air tonight." Iruka pulled out of the jounin's arms and stood up. "Come on."

Kakashi smiled and stood, taking the younger man's hand in his, as they headed towards the quarters which Yamato had summoned up with his wood jutsus. They stopped at the entrance of the shinobi temporary living quarters and greeted the ex-ANBU who was taking a rest.

"How's everything going?" Kakashi took a quick glance at the buildings around him.

"Good." Yamato groused. "Though the people seemed to think I have limitless chakra." He looked up at the two men and raised an eyebrow when he spotted the close proximity and the laced fingers. "Jounin quarters; top level, right hand side. Chunin quarters; top level, left hand side. Genin are on the second level, though I think those brats have probably dragged Naruto with them to the Chunin quarters. You can look for him there if you want." A grin formed on his lips. "And of course, I supposed the jounin quarters are spacious enough if you two want to bunk in together."

Iruka turned red. Kakashi snorted. "I don't need you to tell me that."

"Right." Yamato stood up and gestured for them to enter the building. "Kotetsu and Izumo are managing the supplies in the first room on the second level."

Kakashi nodded and entered through the door with Iruka behind him. Both men headed up the stairs and came to a stop outside an overcrowded room.

"I will go get what we need. Wait for me here." Kakashi gave a light squeeze to the chunin's hand and entered the room. Iruka smiled and stepped to the side, leaning against a wall as he waited in silence.

Kakashi stepped in and scanned the room in a quick glance. He raised an eyebrow when someone waved wildly at him.

"Kakashi, over here!"

The jounin sighed and walked over to his exuberant friend. Genma gave him a slap on the back and a grin before it quickly faded and replaced by a solemn look.

"I've heard. Good to have you back."

"Here you go, Kakashi-san." Izumo smiled as he handed over a change of clean uniform and a blanket. Kakashi took it with a murmured thanks.

"I'm placing Iruka in your care." The long-haired chunin grinned as he handed over another set of supplies. "If you should ever let him down again, remember, you won't be only dealing with him."

Kakashi balanced the stack in his arms and eyed the chunin solemnly. "I would be a fool if I ever let him go again."

=-=-=-=

"Iruka?"

The chunin turned from his spot against the wall towards the person who had called out to him.

"Inaho-san?"

"You are alright!" The kunoichi ran towards the man and before Iruka could even blink, Inaho had wrapped her arms tightly around him.

Iruka tensed. Inaho buried her face in the teacher's shoulder and laughed in relief.

"Thank god, you are alright. I was so worried."

Iruka felt wetness against his neck and he was at a loss of what to do. He couldn't push Inaho away like this when the girl had been worried sick about him. But Kakashi would come out from the room soon and it just wouldn't do to have the older man see him in such a position with another girl.

Taking in a deep breath, he laid a gentle hand on the kunoichi's shoulder and pulled away slightly.

"Are you alright, Inaho-san?"

A tinge of red covered the lady's cheeks as she swiped at her tears. "Yes, I'm sorry. I was just so glad to see you."

Iruka smiled warmly. "Good to see you are alright too."

Inaho glanced up at the man and took in a deep breath. She grabbed Iruka's wrist and smiled sweetly.

"I was at the chunin quarters earlier on to look for you. But I don't see you anywhere. I really feared that something had happened to you." She sighed happily and tugged at the man's hand. "Anyway, when I was there, it seemed to me that the quarters are all full. If you would like, perhaps you would like to sleep in the genin quarters with us. My teammates and I have gotten a cozy corner for ourselves."

Iruka's eyes widened and for a moment, he was unsure of how to answer to the kunoichi's invitation.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi came out from the supplies' room with Genma, only to be greeted by a shocking sight.

A kunoichi was hugging Iruka and the chunin didn't seem too keen to pull away. Kakashi recognized the girl instantly and he felt something lodged in his throat. Hadn't Iruka agreed to give them both a chance?

Genma laid a hand on his shoulder and tugged at the man, pulling him back into the room's doorway. The honey-haired man's gaze never left the chunin in front of them.

"Wait and see, Kakashi. It may not be what we think." Genma said softly, though he himself wasn't too convicted about his statement. He sighed inwardly when he felt his friend's shoulder tensing under his hand.

There was a long moment of pause before they heard Iruka's voice again.

"Are you alright, Inaho-san?"

Kakashi closed his eyes, trying to decipher his lover's train of thoughts. He felt Genma's grip tightened and he snapped his eye open, followed his friend's gaze and his uncertainty hiked up when he saw the kunoichi holding Iruka's hand and smiling at him lovingly.

He heard the kunoichi asking the chunin if he would like to join them in the genin quarters.

There was no answer from Iruka. Kakashi wasn't sure if he was thinking about how to turn the kunoichi down, or how he should explain to the jounin why he wouldn't be joining for the night.

And then he saw Iruka slowly pulling his hand away from the other lady and in a hesitant voice, rejected the kunoichi.

=-=-=-=

Iruka tugged his hand gently out from the grasp and smiled at Inaho awkwardly. It wasn't fair to the kunoichi, but it hadn't been easy either for him to finally get back together with Kakashi. He did not want to try breaking again the pieces that they had tried so hard to put back together. Taking a step back, he bowed apologetically.

"I think that won't be necessary, Inaho-san. Or so I've heard, the jounin quarters have plenty of empty spaces. I supposed it will be more appropriate for me to bunk in…" He took in a deep breath and eyed the kunoichi. "… with my partner."

The short-haired girl turned confused as she eyed the man tentatively. "Your partner?"

"Yes." Iruka rubbed at his scar awkwardly, wondering if this was really the right time to be telling Inaho that. "We got back together recently."

The hurt look on Inaho's face threw the chunin on a guilt trip. He sighed deeply. "I'm sorry."

There was a moment of silence. Then, Inaho let out a strained laugh. "Um, Iruka, it's alright you know, if you don't want to… I mean…"

"No, it's not that, Inaho-san. I really do have a…" He paused and then spoke hesitantly. "Boyfriend."

The utter look of hurt and confusion on Inaho's face sent Iruka into an exasperated sigh. He shoved his hands into his pocket and eyed the lady uncertainly. "I'm sorry if I had given you the wrong idea about anything. But, I've only regarded you as a friend."

"But…" The kunoichi frowned. "But, I've never heard about you being with anyone."

"My lover and I, we had some misunderstanding previously and we went our separate ways. But, we have made up. Just today, in fact." Iruka scratched his scar in embarrassment. It felt awkward having to confess when he still wasn't quite sure where his relationship with Kakashi stood. Sure, they had in a way cleared things up. But still…

A hand snaked across his waist and he was pulled against a strong body, snapping from his reverie. He turned around, surprised.

Kakashi pressed a masked kiss on his cheek and smiled. "Sorry to keep you waiting." He cocked his head and eyed the kunoichi. "Your friend?"

"Um, yes." Iruka gestured towards Inaho. "Kakashi, this is Inaho-san. I got to know her through Kotetsu." He took in a deep breath and smiled at the kunoichi. "Inaho-san, this is my lover, Hatake Kakashi."

The kunoichi stared at the two men in disbelief for a long moment. Iruka was beginning to wonder if she was even going to say anything when anger took over and she turned heated glares towards the brunette. "You led me on for so long, making me think that we have a chance together. And now, you are telling me you are attached?"

Iruka sighed. He felt a gentle squeeze on his hand and he turned towards the older man with a soft smile. Lacing his fingers with the other man, he directed his attention back to the kunoichi. "I'm really sorry, Inaho-san. You are a nice girl. I'm sure you will find someone who's truly worth your affections someday."

"You – " Inaho was speechless.

"Come on, Iruka. Let's go." Kakashi smiled. "Genma is waiting for us."

The chunin nodded and turned away. He had barely taken two steps when the kunoichi spoke spitefully.

"Your kind of relationship will not last. I'm sure the first break-up had already hinted that to you."

Iruka tensed and for a moment, was unsure of what to say. What Inaho had said; that was partly true, wasn't it?

Then he felt the jounin's grasp on his hand tightened and he could feel the light trembling from the older man. He turned to meet Kakashi's eye and watched the flitting emotions that passed the returned gaze. But what struck the younger man the most was the hint of uncertainty in the grey depths that spoke of the guilt from the past events.

And it shed a little more light onto the man whom he had found so unfathomable in the past. Ex-ANBU captain, shinobi extraordinaire, legendary genius Hatake Kakashi, was more afraid of letting go than he was.

He felt his previous thumping heartbeat slowing down. He had nothing to fear, because it seemed like the older man won't be letting him go any time soon. Smiling, he gave the gloved hand a reassuring squeeze and turned to the kunoichi.

"I appreciate that advice, Inaho-san. But I also learnt that in a relationship, we should never repeat the same mistakes twice." He smiled at Kakashi. "I believe the lesson that we had both gone through was enough to teach us the values in a relationship and what we should hold on to while we still have it. So, I don't see any cause for worries. And whatever happens in the future, I'm sure we will be able to deal with it well enough."

The jounin visibly relaxed. He returned the smile and leaned forward to plant a masked kiss on the teacher's lips. "Let's go."

Genma was leaning against the stairway, a broad smirk on his face. When the two men approached, he straightened himself and picked up the stack of supplies by his feet. "Took you guys long enough. Come on, Rai is waiting."

=-=-=-=

Raidou stared in surprise as the silver-haired jounin made his way out of the room with the younger man to change out of their clothes after having claimed their spots in the cozy corner of the room. Genma settled down beside him and stretched tiredly as he lay down on the futon, preparing to catch some sleep. He patted at the mattress, frowning at the stiffness of it. But well, it was better than nothing. At least he still has something to sleep on despite the state of the village.

"Gen?"

"Hm?" The honey-haired jounin turned to his friend as he mentally gauged the amount of work he had to get started on the next day to help restore the village.

"When you told me to reserve two spots in a quiet corner, was it for Kakashi and Iruka?" Raidou turned to his friend uncertainly.

"Yeah." Genma stared out of the small window, a small smile on his face.

"But Iruka is a chunin."

Genma frowned. "And your point being?"

"Isn't he supposed to be staying in the chunin quarters?"

"There are always exceptions, Rai."

Raidou rolled his eyes. "Enlighten me."

"Sure." Genma yawned and lay down on his futon. "Simply because no one can say _'no'_ to Kakashi when he decides to bring his lover to sleep with him in the same room."

Raidou stared at his friend incredulously for a minute. He swallowed hard and whispered quietly. "What?"

"I said – "

"I heard what you said. But Kakashi and Iruka? When did that happen?"

Genma sighed and sat up, a wistful smile on his lips. "I supposed quite a long while ago. Asuma was probably the first and the only person who knew then. But things happened and they went their own ways. And after experimenting with heartbreaks and longing for so many times over, they are back with each other again."

"Oh…" Raidou frowned. "That's pretty good of them, to be able to hide their relationship in a shinobi village."

"Yeah." Genma smiled. "But now that Kakashi has straightened out his thoughts, I supposed the entire village will know about their relationship within two months from now."

Raidou raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? Kakashi is a pretty private person. He won't like having people prying into his affairs."

"Yes of course." Genma chewed on his ever-present senbon. "But this is different. I'm sure Kakashi would announce it to the world, if he could do that without any negative repercussions."

Raidou shrugged. "And what are your thoughts about their relationship?"

The jounin turned towards the door when the two men in topic walked into the room. He smiled.

"I think they are good for each other."

=-=-=-=

The two figures sat on the roof, staring up at the moon that casted a soft glow on the ruined village below them. Kakashi sighed and wrapped an arm around his younger lover as the man leaned against him. This was what felt right. No one had ever been able to fit against him as perfectly as the chunin in his arms right now.

"What are you thinking about?" Iruka traced his fingers across the masked glove resting on his waist and glanced at the older man.

"Nothing important." Kakashi smiled. "Just thinking about how some situations can completely push a person to change his views about matters."

"Kakashi?"

"I met my father." The jounin smiled softly. "When I was caught in the void between the world of the living and the afterlife. Seeing him again made me realized how much I had lost and how many stupid mistakes I had made in the past."

The chunin's eyes softened and he leaned in closer, offering the silent comfort. He laced his fingers together with the hand on his waist and gave it a light squeeze.

"I never thought I would have the chance to apologize to my father. But I supposed fate had other plans in store." The jounin sighed and turned to the younger man. He tugged his mask down and smiled softly at him.

"Fate had many things in store for me. But the only thing that I am most grateful for is that it allowed me to come back to fix what I had damaged." He pressed his forehead against Iruka's and traced the man's jaw. "Thank you, love. What you said earlier to that kunoichi meant a lot to me."

Iruka was silent for a minute, too surprised to answer as his breath caught in his throat. Moisture gathered in the corner of the brown orbs as Iruka raised his hand, cupping the man's face and pressing a light kiss on the chapped lips. He buried his face in the broad shoulder, a small smile on his face.

"It meant a lot to me too." He whispered hoarsely. "You know, even after what you had said, I was still uncertain about where this whole thing was going. I wasn't sure if you would start denying our relationship again. Somehow saying it out, gives me that extra bit of security that I needed. And when you didn't do or say anything to refute it, that was exactly the anchor that I needed to convince me that this is real and that we are not going to hide from public's eyes anymore"

Kakashi tightened his grasp on the younger man. "No more hiding. I promised that, didn't I? I won't hide anymore. Not from you, not from anyone else. They can talk all they like, but I'm not going to back out of this." He pulled back and smiled, one hand burying itself into the brunette's untied hair. "I'm not going to let you go again."

Iruka's smile grew. Kakashi leaned in and pressed his lips against the younger man, slipping his tongue past the chunin's lips as he savored the taste which he had missed for months. The tongues danced in each other's mouths, the gentle caresses drawing sighs from the younger man. Finally, the jounin drew back and pressed a light, feathery kiss on the tanned forehead.

"I'm not letting you go either." Iruka rested his head on the jounin's shoulder, as his breathing began to regulate itself. "If you ever try to dump me, I would hunt you down to the depths of the earth and make you pay for it."

Kakashi chuckled. "I'm not that stupid to repeat this mistake again. Besides, if I ever do that," he smiled affectionately at the younger man and tightened his grasp, pulling Iruka close to his side. "You won't be the only one. I'm sure my father would come after me too."

The chunin glanced at his lover confusedly. Kakashi shifted and pulled the younger man across his laps, cradling him to his chest. "My father gave us his blessings. He asked for you to go with me the next time I visit his grave."

A light shade of red tinted the chunin's cheeks. He shifted uncomfortably and murmured into the copy nin's shoulder. "You make this sound like some meet-the-parents session."

"Isn't that so?" Kakashi grinned. "You are officially going to meet my parents. Which means, they have acknowledged you as their daughter-in-law. You aren't getting out of this."

The chunin flushed. "Kakashi, I'm not a girl!"

The silver-haired man chuckled as his mortified lover swatted at his head. He leaned down and pressed his lips over the younger man's, muffling out all protests. Pulling back slightly, he smiled. "No, you are not. But I love you all the same." He laughed softly. "My, what would my parents say to such a feisty _son-in-law_?"

Iruka rubbed at his scar in embarrassment. He looped his arms over the jounin's neck and leaned against him. "I'm sure they would be glad that there's someone to keep you in line."

Kakashi's eye softened. He held the younger man in silence, even as he felt Iruka snuggling closer to him. He closed his eyes, a light smile playing on his unmasked face.

_'Thank you, dad.'_

He glanced down at the half-dozing chunin in his arms and placed a light kiss on his lips.

"I love you, Iruka."

=-=-=-=

* * *


End file.
